Anticipation

Today’s blog is about fear. Others know it as anticipation. If any of you have ever talked to me, you know I am a pessimist of the highest degree. This blog will be posted a week that will be very stressful for me. You can’t imagine me being stressed because I don’t give a shit normally but this week, I am doing something I have only done a few times before. I am going to meet authors. Yep, this is the week of Romantic Times Convention in Kansas City, Missouri.

I am writing this on Sunday while I am doing laundry. I am starting to think about what I am going to pack and if I need to take anything dressy. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I don’t do dressy. I will be packing lots of books and the scary part is they are not all mine. I am taking a box of books for a certain someone whose name rhymes with Mia Ashlinn.

I was going to get a new car for the trip, but I decided to wait—mainly because I hate talking to salesmen. I am going to rent a car instead. Renting takes one stressful thing off my list. Now on to what else I need to pack. Booze. I have one bottle of Kinky, but I think I am going to grab one more. Other than that and Sprite, I have no idea what else to take. I am debating on buying new luggage, but I think I am just going to snag some from my sister. She has lots and lots of it.

This is becoming more and more real as I type this, and that means my anxiety level is rising as well.
Most of you who know me think I am confident and never get freaked out and normally, I don’t, but this week I will be talking to people who matter. I am going to have to be nice, which I don’t do very well. I have to be patient. Again, I don’t do that well either. The only saving grace will be that I will be with someone who might be more nervous than me, Mia.

I will be picking Mia up in St Louis on Thursday and driving across Missouri to Kansas City. That will be the easiest part of the whole trip for me. I love to drive so this will be a piece of cake. Friday will not be too bad, either. Mia and I will be on our own till mid-afternoon, just playing around the hotel and maybe venturing out a little bit. Things will amp up on Friday afternoon when Lori King and Tara Clegg make it to town. I love these girls, but I will be meeting Lori for the first time which means I will be a little skittish. I have talked to her on the phone but who isn’t nervous the first time they actually meet someone?

I like to have a general plan but not one that will drive me crazy with anxiety.  I know that another Perv, Tracey Reid, is having drinks in her hotel room, but I am not sure I can handle that. On my best day, I am anti-social. So who knows if I will end up going to it. I am going to be meeting up with some other friends. Hopefully, that will calm me, but who knows? I am sure I will start to relax after that first night. If not, poor Mia will have to tranq me.

 I will probably be the most comfortable when we actually make it to the signing.  I can talk to anyone for a few minutes because chances are they will forget me about 5 minutes after I walk away. I am hoping that by Saturday night I will have let go of my anxiety. But again, who knows? So if you see a story on the news about someone being shot with a tranquilizer gun, it was probably me and Mia will be the culprit. Don’t worry I will testify that I asked for it.


Sinfully Sarcastic,
Shmuttmeister