Tuesday, 30 April 2013


Today’s blog is about fear. Others know it as anticipation. If any of you have ever talked to me, you know I am a pessimist of the highest degree. This blog will be posted a week that will be very stressful for me. You can’t imagine me being stressed because I don’t give a shit normally but this week, I am doing something I have only done a few times before. I am going to meet authors. Yep, this is the week of Romantic Times Convention in Kansas City, Missouri.

I am writing this on Sunday while I am doing laundry. I am starting to think about what I am going to pack and if I need to take anything dressy. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I don’t do dressy. I will be packing lots of books and the scary part is they are not all mine. I am taking a box of books for a certain someone whose name rhymes with Mia Ashlinn.

I was going to get a new car for the trip, but I decided to wait—mainly because I hate talking to salesmen. I am going to rent a car instead. Renting takes one stressful thing off my list. Now on to what else I need to pack. Booze. I have one bottle of Kinky, but I think I am going to grab one more. Other than that and Sprite, I have no idea what else to take. I am debating on buying new luggage, but I think I am just going to snag some from my sister. She has lots and lots of it.

This is becoming more and more real as I type this, and that means my anxiety level is rising as well.
Most of you who know me think I am confident and never get freaked out and normally, I don’t, but this week I will be talking to people who matter. I am going to have to be nice, which I don’t do very well. I have to be patient. Again, I don’t do that well either. The only saving grace will be that I will be with someone who might be more nervous than me, Mia.

I will be picking Mia up in St Louis on Thursday and driving across Missouri to Kansas City. That will be the easiest part of the whole trip for me. I love to drive so this will be a piece of cake. Friday will not be too bad, either. Mia and I will be on our own till mid-afternoon, just playing around the hotel and maybe venturing out a little bit. Things will amp up on Friday afternoon when Lori King and Tara Clegg make it to town. I love these girls, but I will be meeting Lori for the first time which means I will be a little skittish. I have talked to her on the phone but who isn’t nervous the first time they actually meet someone?

I like to have a general plan but not one that will drive me crazy with anxiety.  I know that another Perv, Tracey Reid, is having drinks in her hotel room, but I am not sure I can handle that. On my best day, I am anti-social. So who knows if I will end up going to it. I am going to be meeting up with some other friends. Hopefully, that will calm me, but who knows? I am sure I will start to relax after that first night. If not, poor Mia will have to tranq me.

 I will probably be the most comfortable when we actually make it to the signing.  I can talk to anyone for a few minutes because chances are they will forget me about 5 minutes after I walk away. I am hoping that by Saturday night I will have let go of my anxiety. But again, who knows? So if you see a story on the news about someone being shot with a tranquilizer gun, it was probably me and Mia will be the culprit. Don’t worry I will testify that I asked for it.

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Wednesday, 24 April 2013



This is a blog about sexy. Yep, like Justin Timberlake, I am bringing sexy back. Wait, did it even leave? I never really got that but whatever. I was looking for hottie pictures, and this made me think of things that I find sexy. Most of you are going to say that there is nothing that I don’t find sexy on a man but believe it or not, there are some things that just don’t push my buttons. So today we, or rather I, am going to talk about things I find just yum. I am not talking about their personality, which for me is the sexiest thing, but their physical beauty.

I know most are going to say that it is a guy’s eyes. Yes, I too find a man’s eyes sexy, but they can have beautiful eyes and still not be sexy because they are not communicating with me. I am very picky about eyes. I have seen some pictures of men with just drop dead gorgeous eyes, and they just looked vacant. I know sometimes it is just the camera angle and lighting, but I really need there to be something about them that draws me in. This is one of the reasons I love Jensen Ackles. There is just something about his eyes that always makes me want to know what he is thinking.

Lips. Omg, do I love a nice set of lips on a man. There is nothing worse than a weak set of lips. I want lips that I can nibble on. Not like chick lips but just right. When I talk about lips, don’t take it literally. I am talking about the laugh lines, too. If a man has those then I know that he doesn’t take everything so seriously and is able to laugh.

A strong jaw just sets me off too. I like a nice hard look to a man. I know lots of people like that baby face and it has its place, but give me a man with 5’oclock shadow and wow.

I want a chest wide enough for me to sleep on. It doesn’t have to be overly muscled but damn a good chest is hard to find. We will skip over my fondness for nipple piercings because that is another blog along with tattoos.

Now I know this is going to be strange one and, yes Luna and Mia make fun of me for it, but I love a sexy belly button. I like innies and outties equally and if a man has a hint of both mmmmm good.

Mia has a fondness for hands and really, I think most women do. We like that they are strong and yet they can be so gentle.

Now just for Taylor Berke I am going to include feet. I am not a big fan, but there is something sexy about a man in jeans and bare feet.

Now that backside. There is not a woman I know who doesn’t love a good ass on a man. There are some that are just so delish that I want to smack and bite it, and I have a hard time deciding on which I want to do first.

Shoulders also hold a special appeal to me. I love going up behind a man with broad shoulders and just resting my head on them. I like when they look like they can carry the world, which makes me feel safe and protected.

I know there are lots of things I didn’t cover on sexy men, but we don’t have that kind of time and you know I can always write another blog. So what did I miss that you find sexy?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Guest Blogger: Lissa Matthews

Keep It Together

Thank you so much for letting me come by and share my new release, Keep It Together.

It's been a while since I've spent some time with y'all and I'm quite certain my life is all the more boring and dull for it... The sexiness should, however pick up for the next several days, right? I mean, y'all are called Perverts for nothing, correct? ;-)

My new contemporary erotic romance, Keep It Together came out with Loose Id last week. I am usually the last person to say, out loud that I love one of my books, but this one... Yeah. I love it. Set in Savannah, Georgia, it's about a young woman from a well-to-do family making her own way in the world after being left at the altar and the man who comes a callin' afterward and sweeps her off her feet.

Incidentally, he also happens to be her ex's brother.

Chrissie shoots, crafts, cooks and wears the frilliest, most feminine undergarments. She's tough and vulnerable at the same time. Her love interest Colt, is a businessman from Texas who took a strong liking to Chrissie the second he met her. He's the CFO of a cookie company and when Chrissie finds this little tidbit out, all beta are off and that man is gonna be hers.

I fell in love with these characters even before I started writing them. They appeared in my head as I was driving home from Authors After Dark last year. Driving by myself gives me a chance to listen to whatever music I want, for part of my mind to think, work out issues, etc... This is how Keep It Together began for me. The music? Miranda Lambert's latest album, Four The Record.

Chrissie's feisty and independent nature is the first thing Colt notices and appreciates right from the start. It was what appealed to me immediately as well. She prefers shrimp and beer to society gatherings and I felt as though I could work with her, be part of her world, take a peek inside. I could relate to her in so many ways and wished she were real, that I could get to know her face to face. But as I wrote her on the page, I realized I did know her in person. She's several women I know all rolled into one sweet, giving, hard-working, and sexy gal. She's my mom, my sister, my grandmother, my friend Cecile, all together. She's endearing, feminine, vulnerable, fierce. She battles between her upbringing and her need to live her life on her own terms. I love her. She's probably one of my very favorite characters that I've written.

The only fault I can find with her is that she doesn't drink or even like coffee. And if anyone here knows me, knows how seriously I take my coffee addiction. I tried to change her, but she was adamant. I have to leave it up to her hero, Colt, to turn her around. Maybe one day.

If you haven't given Keep It Together a try yet, I hope you'll consider it...

Jilted bride? Check. Hangover? Check. Shotgun? Double check. Wayward groom’s half-brother Colt on her porch the next morning, hat in hand, with concern in his sexy blue eyes, and apologies on his full kissable lips? Uh… Check?That was six months ago. Now, with a job she loves, her heart mended and her pride put back together, the last thing Chrissie expects is that same half-brother standing behind her saying he’s got an answer for her. Problem is, she can’t seem to remember what she’d said on that long ago day that would warrant a visit from him.

Colt does. And as the CEO of a cookie company, it’s his job to pay attention to the details.

“Maybe I should have married you instead.” She’d been right. He was the brother she should have married and all he has to do is convince her of it with a blend of persistence and seduction. But their first kiss is hotter than the southern Georgia summer and catches him off guard. She’s primed and ready to burn up the sheets and he’s not inclined to say no. Will she believe that he won’t ever leave her? Maybe. If he brings her cookies…


Colt had Chrissie against the hotel room door as soon as it closed behind them. Once they got into the elevator, he’d been unable to keep his hands off her, and now that they were in his room, in private… “This wasn’t exactly how I’d planned this to happen.” The words rumbled up from his throat when he broke away from her mouth and trailed his lips down her neck.

“Y-you had a plan?”

“Mmm. Hmm. I had a plan.” He planted his lips against the pulse beating wildly in her neck. It fluttered against his tongue, and when he lifted her up on her toes with his knee between her thighs, it fluttered even more. “I’d planned to come back in a couple of weeks and ask you out again. Call you. Keep coming back until I’d worn you down.”

“S-so this is not just a onetime thing?”

Colt dropped his foot back to the floor and lifted his mouth from where it rested against her skin. Her hair was mussed, and her mouth looked thoroughly kissed. He wanted her bra and shirt gone; then he wanted her shoes and jeans and panties discarded. He wanted her naked and writhing on his bed for days, weeks, months, for the rest of his life. “No, baby. It’s not just a onetime thing.”

Chrissie framed his face in her hands and pulled his head toward her. Her lips connected with his, and her tongue slipped in his mouth, and he’d never been so happy to be interrupted in his life. He inserted his knee between her legs again and urged her higher against the door again and devoured every inch between her teeth and cheeks.

She nudged at his shoulders, and he slowly lifted his head. “I need something from you.”

Now? She needed something from him now? Other than what they were currently doing? “What? Anything.”

“Naked,” she breathed. “I need you to get me naked and then you…”

Colt smirked. “Why do you get to be naked first?”

“Because I’m the woman.”

“Yes, baby, all woman,” he agreed. “Let’s get closer to the bed, though.”

“You can’t screw standing up?”

“I can screw you just fine standing up, thank you very much. However—” He turned them and twirled with her from the door to the wall next to the bed. She giggled and held on with her arms around his neck. The tips of her hair brushed against his hand, and her body molded soft and pliant against his as she let him lead her.

“I’m a little woozy now,” she said as she buried her face at the base of his throat.

“Yes, baby, I’m sure. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Her voice held a dreamy note, and her breath was warm where it touched him. “I liked it.”

“Good girl.” He slid his hand beneath her shirt, skimmed her skin with the pads of his fingers, and lifted the polo over her head when she raised her arms. His breath caught at what he’d revealed.

The navy-blue lace bra was the prettiest, and the very last thing he’d expected of this very practical woman who did everything she could to hide her femininity. He trembled as he traced the edges of the cups.

“Don’t make fun of me.” Her voice was little more than a whisper amid their heavy breathing. She was motionless against the wall, her hands still above her head. She wasn’t looking at him but rather toward the floor.

“Make fun of you? Why would I?”

“Because I wear lace under my clothes. Because I’m a girl.”

Colt nudged her head up and stole a kiss from her pouty lips. “You are most definitely a girl. I was surprised by the lace but not in a way that I would make fun of you. It’s such a gorgeous contrast to how you project yourself, and I think it is very sexy.”

“You do?”

He nodded and whispered into her mouth, “I do.” He flicked his thumbs over her erect nipples and watched her eyes flutter until they were nearly closed, and her lips parted on a sweet moan. She was into frills, guns, doing good, hard work, beer, him, and she was horny. He was a damn lucky man.

Keep It Together is available for purchase from:

Again, thank you for letting me come to visit.


Wednesday, 17 April 2013

My Favorite Movie Pastime, Porn

I was talking to Mia yesterday. Well by the time you read this, it may have been months ago. Anyway, we were discussing our love of porn. We decided to write a blog together about it. Can I just say I was really excited to be able to write a blog with Mia? Anyway, I mentioned to Luna that I was going to be writing this blog and she wanted in on the action. Now, I was at work and was bored and decided to go ahead and write the blog. I told Mia that I had started it, and she was a bit put out by the fact that I started it without her. I read her what I had, and we worked out how three of us were going to write one blog. We made the decision to do a Skype call and just have a conversation. We still have not been able to find a time when we can all get together and write. So I am going to write this one, and we will just call it the first installment on what I am sure will become a recurring topic.

 I know this is not a topic most want to discuss. But let’s face it at least 50% of men and women have watched it. I am going to be honest. I love watching good porn. Therein lies the problem.  Finding good porn is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You have to wade through tons and tons of bad porn. 

I think someone should make a few erotic romance novellas into movies. Can you imagine the sales on those DVDs? Hell, just the Righteous Perverts would put it on the best sellers list.

I have seen some really, really bad porn. You know the kind that makes you want to wash your eyes out with bleach. I just wonder what the actors (yes I use that term loosely) are thinking while they are getting fucked. I mean damn, it is so bad that sometimes you can’t help but laugh at the faces and the noise they are making. I love it when you can see the female not even noticing that some guy is fucking her, and I doubt it is because she is giving another guy head. 

On that subject, why do most movies feel the need to use 10 guys in one scene? Hell, I am tired just watching it. I mean I don’t know any woman who wants to take on the whole baseball team. A few of the members, maybe. But the whole team? Not likely.

Now on to the actual scenes. I am not a fan of the close up shots. I like some good shots, but the kind where you can count the pores on their skin is just creepy. I do like the shots where you see the whole person not just the action. There is nothing stranger than watching someone getting fucked and you just hear weird moaning in the background.  It always makes me think I am in a haunted house.

Now on to positions. Unless your name is Nadia Comaneci, you probably can’t put your foot behind your head. I am sure there is nothing more embarrassing than going to the hospital and telling them that you pulled your hip out of its socket having adventurous sex. Then there is the doggy style that everyone seems to enjoy so much and that most of the movie is in that position. Not me. I would rather see a connection between the two people doing the wild thing. Standing up, not so much because most women don’t weight 50 pounds and let’s face it, most men can lift us up and still have wild sex. I like to see sex on tables and against counters. But if the sex isn’t good then my mind wanders to “I wonder if Lysol makes a special disinfectant to be used on furniture that people have wild monkey sex on?”

Sound effects. Now this one makes me ape shit crazy. I like to hear the people talking and the grunting and groaning but when one of the actors is sayin “Oh god oh god harder harder” and not “OH MY FUCKING GOD HARDER,” it totally takes me out of the scene. By the way, if any of you either decided to make porn or knows someone who does, could you tell them to fix the damn echoes in the rooms? I always feel like they are having sex in the Grand Canyon.

Speaking of rooms, can we just mention they have some nice furniture? And to see a bunch of cum all over it makes me never want to sit down at anyone’s home ever again. I am not saying everyone does that, but I was at my sister’s house and she had just bought a whole new living room set. I was remarking how much I liked it and how comfortable it was then she looked at me and said it was really comfortable to have sex on, and I was heading out the door right then. It took me a good while before I would sit on her furniture ever again. Don’t get me started on the kitchen table because I always scrub it down before we eat.

That brings me to my next thing. Food in the bedroom. I am not opposed to it at all. Here is my thing about it. I really don’t need to see how many apples can be shoved up anyone’s orifices. I will admit I watched it, but the entire time I was thinking ‘I hope they throw those things away’ so it took me out of the porn. Not to mention, they were using the same apples in both girls. When they were shoving them up there, my mind wandered off to the bizarre thought that those poor apples were going to be bruised or made into applesauce because it was tight up in there or it looked that way.

Speaking of that, I once saw one where they shoved everything in the kitchen, including the spray nozzle on the sink, up her behind. I was just thinking a hospital wouldn’t have enough disinfectant to clean those utensils. And really, I don’t think Rachel Ray was expecting the handle of her pots and pans to be used that way.

I guess I can’t write a blog about porn and not mention “The Louisville Slugger”. Yes, I found that movie and shared it with a few select people. I know that I can’t go to a baseball game and not think of the way Lito caressed it and covered it in slick before he used it on Drew. I will say I loved that video, but it wasn’t because Lito was an amazingly hung man (although he is) or mention that he was really good at fucking. For me the video became one of my favorites because the connection between Lito and Drew. They constantly held eye contact and whispered to each other. That is what made it a great video and one that I shared with a few people.

So are you a connoisseur of porn or just a casual watcher?  Maybe porn just grosses you out completely.
Sinfully sarcastic,

Monday, 15 April 2013

Social Media Love It or Hate It?

A shy girl’s perspective.

Social?  The word makes me, a true-blue shy girl cringe. Social? That means interacting with and talking to people.  I get tongue tied when I talk to family and my closest friends.  You want me to talk to strangers?  Hell, you want me to talk to important strangers like authors and editors?  My brain freezes up and I just stand there and smile, all the time wishing I had something clever or meaningful to contribute to the conversation.

I can honestly say I’ve been in more than one situation where I’ve been the quiet girl in the corner with no idea where or how to do that whole networking thing.  I start to worry and the more I think about it the more I stress and worry and it snowballs until I am on the verge of a meltdown.  Yet, I’m still smiling on the outside.

This is where the “media” half came to my rescue.  I am by no means a social media expert.  I use Facebook, Twitter and visit the occasional blog or author website. I took a necessary leap and started my own blog, amyjhawthorn.com. That’s really the extent of my usage.

In each of these I am guilty of lurking.  I have lurked for months before posting a single sentence.  But I am so glad I did.  With each post or comment things got easier and the words came more freely.

One thing the internet gave me was the ability to think for a moment about what I want to say.  I am still guilty of over thinking things a bit too much and have deleted posts when I probably should have shared them.  But that little bit of time relieves some of my anxiety.

Another thing the internet gave me was a little dash of anonymity.  I have never used it to lie or mislead anyone but there is something freeing that comes from using a screen name.  Shy Amy?  There are thousands of Amy’s out there and I’m sure plenty of them are shy. I can blend right in.

But that’s where things begin to change.  See, now I need to build my “author platform,” Amy J. Hawthorn.  I want people to remember that name.  I want people to like her and think just maybe, she might be an author worth trying.

Now the pressure’s back on.  But this time I have something or someone in my corner backing me up.  I now have experience online and something even better.  I have friends in my corner backing me up.  Their support means the world to me.  Knowing that they love me and think highly of my writing is one of the greatest gifts ever.

Where did I meet these wonderful, almost too good to be true, friends?  Online.  I met them at an author’s forum where readers gathered to talk about books.  In that forum I found friends who read the same books I did, and they live within an hour’s drive from my house.  Too good to be true?  Sounded like it.  We decided to meet up in person and we played it safe and met for lunch at a very public place.  Then we went book shopping together.

And we clicked.  I didn’t know what I was missing until I found them.  Now I wouldn’t trade them for anything. So many good things have come to me just from sticking my nose out there into the internet.  New to me authors that I adore, great friends and possibly even a second career.

The downside?  It can be a huge time suck for me.  I can lose hours of time and have no idea where they went or what I did.  This is one bad habit I have to kick soon, like NOW.  Big exciting changes are coming my way and they are going to keep me busy.

Another downside?  There are people out there who aren’t as nice as they pretend to be.  There are more than a few crazies out there in cyber space.  It pays to be cautious. Always. Please, please, please, always use caution when meeting people online. The world is a scary place sometimes.

For me the decision is an easy one. I am very thankful for social media and the internet.  It has enriched my world in so many ways.  For this shy girl, the bennies far outweigh the cons.  

Amy J. Hawthorn

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Oh Those Hunky Heroes

Just thinking about my favorite kind of heroes has my heart pumping faster and the need for a towel to mop up the drool. Yes, drool you dirty, dirty pervs! I am addicted to a tall muscled, but not over muscled, man. A wounded man, who needs to find his sexy self, and find love, a man with a few scars, lots of tattoos and a cock that in real life I probably couldn’t handle. Yeah, had to be honest there. I mean, I am only built just so... and can’t visualize a wimpy cock. Or an average one. Has to be large enough to come up with 50 ways to describe it. Where you can visualize it down to a freckle on the base. Make love like an angel or fuck like a devil. How about both? And often.

When I read a book, or am writing anything, I become that girl. The everyday average, the scared, shaken, poor, rich, sexy, plus sized, skinny (yep I even get to be skinny!!). I become them all. That hero becomes mine. I want him. I want his hands large to engulf mine. Strong enough to pick me up and toss me onto a bed or up against a wall. Arms big enough that can hold me tight, abs of steel, buns tight and worth grabbing. Tattoos I can run my tongue over. Oh my god, I am a tattoo lover. I love just a few or a lot. Especially when the tattoos have meaning. I love long hair and short hair. I love dark hair. And light. I love many skin colors. Cowboys, military men, firemen, shifters...The list is long and full of fantasy. They nust have a job they love. I don’t care what that job is, as long as they love it.

As a female, I know I’m not alone. We all dream of these sexy men. Even if our significant other is sexy as sin. It’s the unknown, the fantasy, a shifter who turns into a wolf, cat, bear... Overly sexual, with a passion to find what makes me tick. The wish that all men could be like that. Because the man in the book, that Hero that steals our hearts, feels.  It takes a bit to get him to express it but he does. He’s wounded and needs that TLC that only we can give. His heroine... he needs a girl to submit. He needs her to be gentle and loving, sassy and confident, a little disobedient so he can punish. A female with a strong mind, maybe even be a little broken to make that man of our fantasies have something to fix.

Well, Now it is your turn. What trips your trigger in a hero? Do you like a tall hunk of a man full of muscles? A shifter who turns furry and protects you with a passion? How about a tattooed accountant? A cowboy on a horse running a ranch with the same passion as he makes love?

Finding that towel to wipe drool again while you think. Maybe just maybe you might give me another hero to dream about.....

Chris NoOne

Monday, 8 April 2013

Just a Little Prick

Knit one, pearl two then repeat until you go blind or mad and poof a scarf is born. I always find it interesting how millions of people pick up knitting or crochet needles without a second thought, but mention getting an immunization shot or, even worse, engaging in a needle scene and they go white around the gills. Really, a needle is a needle but I guess it is all in the application and really it is “just a little prick” when it is all said and done.

Like so many BDSM activities, needle play can be used for numerous purposes from assisting in getting over a childhood fear of needles to an endorphin-filled thrill ride to a sacred spiritual ritual. Like everything in life, it is the intent associated with the action that determines the outcome. When my ladies and I first started going to our local club and then to fetish and kink events around the country we spent a lot of time sitting on the sidelines watching in a kind of confused fascination at the things people would do to one another.

I often thought, “Why in the world would they let someone do that to them?” As we attended numerous training classes, read a lot of books and spoke to everyone who would sit still long enough we slowly started to learn that there were as many reasons as people engaged in the various activities. One that particularly amazed me for a long time was the temporary play piercing, or needle scene. We watched many a scene where one person would insert a number of long (the ones we usually use are 22 gauge, 1 ½” long) needles into and then back out of their partner. Granted, it was often in very elaborate and beautiful patterns, but I couldn’t see the point.

Now, I am an adventurous kind of guy and one night the club was having a “Taste of kink night” where people of recognized skill would allow inexperienced people to see what various forms of play felt like. They had flogging, caning, fire, wax, violet wand stations and of course needles. Curiosity getting the better of us, the ladies and I all spent a ticket and got a three needle piercing in the arm, just to see what it was all about.

A new favorite type of play was born in kasi. She absolutely loved the endorphin rush that the piercing produced. I found it an interesting experience and surprisingly not painful in the least. Eeza didn’t really get much out of it but was glad she had tried it. We decided there was more to explore with this form of play and were lucky enough to receive our very own piercing kit the following Christmas from members of our leather family. We spent time learning the skill and practicing, then had the opportunity to attend a local event called “The Dance of Life” which was an amazing experience.

This is a very spiritual event based on the Lakota Indian Sun Ritual and involves the use of hooks for the really involved people to use to pull against for the experience, or as we did to get a piercing with bells attached. Once the bells were attached you join in the dancing (to the beat of a kick ass drum circle) and as the bells bounce up and down they pull slightly on the piercing, releasing a flood of endorphins. The energy in that room was palatable and it was one of the most amazing experiences we have ever had. It really brought home the varied uses for this often feared form of play.

In the years that have passed since then we have participated in the event whenever we are in town when it occurs and we anxiously look forward to the next time. I have spent many hours of practice learning this skill and recently had the opportunity to show our new partner evie and her friend the joys of this form of play. To me at least it is an incredible thrill to help someone who is curious but unsure experience just how amazing BDSM play can be.

To that end, we use our position as erotic romance authors to show various and assorted forms of play in our books. We engineer scenes that allow the reader to experience what the characters are feeling without any risk. For things that are considered on the edgier side, like needle play, we often put them in a lighthearted or comedic scene to illustrate that with proper care and application the inner kinkster in all of us can be fed. If you would like to see just such a scene check out our latest story (Double Dom Fantasies, #3 in the BDSM Ménage Fantasies by Cassidy Browning, Siren Publishing) where our big bad Dom Crash, a professional football player, who is terrified of needles, finds that with the proper application of a sexy distraction, you won’t even notice them.

In addition to the spiritual and endorphin uses for this form of play, an artistic side can be found. Here is a picture of a scene we did at our local kink event last year where I made a custom set of chainmail jewelry for kasi to wear in the dungeon. As she walked around showing people the set, they would swing about giving her a continuous endorphin thrill.

There are many wonderful examples out there of the beautiful art created with this type of play, so next time you hear the word needles, after your initial shudder, give a thought to the other possibilities. If you have any questions about this form of play or any other and how you can make your own BDSM romance more realistic without having to try it yourself, please don’t hesitate to ask me or any other skilled practitioner. I will be presenting workshops at RT on realistic BDSM writing with the extremely talented kasi Alexander (Cassidy Browning), Lexi Blake and Shayla Black and kasi and I will be doing so again at RomCon so come visit us and share your stories as well.

Reggie Alexander
Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/reggie.alexander.71?fref=ts
Blog : http://naughtyeverafter.wordpress.com/
Buy : http://www.bookstrand.com/cassidy-browning
Chainmail : http://www.polyspleasures.com/Necklaces.html

Thursday, 4 April 2013

Swag and The Women Who Love It

I am a huge fan of swag. I know that doesn’t come as a shock to anyone. I mean who doesn’t like free stuff. Not all swag is good, I am sorry to say. I have gone to just a couple of conventions, but I get swag from other places as well. It is called marketing tools. I am just one person, contrary to popular opinion, and I know that a lot of people will not agree with me on this subject.  

Good swag to me is something I can use in everyday life. I do like the unusual as well and if it makes me laugh, I always remember it. I do not use a lot of the swag I receive. I put it in a keepsake box and when l feel down or I just want to remember something, I can just pull it out and it takes me right back to the moment I picked it up. I know I am a packrat, but that is a story for another time. When I kick the bucket, my poor nephew Squirrel will love cleaning those things out. Moving on.

I am proud to show off author bags and pens. I get more questions about the bags, of course, but that is to be expected. I am also a big fan of pins. I have my Righteous Pervert bags and I put them all on them. When I use my bags, I get lots of questions or at least some strange looks (especially from my I like my Men Rough and Ready pin). I also like the swag that ties into the books. Melissa Schroeder has dogtags for her Military Harmless books. I can’t remember (because I missed out on them), but one of the authors who was at Authors After Dark in Philadelphia had a band aid kit and her series took place in a hospital. Makes sense right? I like things like that. It helps me remember the books and the authors. When you read as many books as I do, every little thing helps.

I have seen all kinds of swag from the normal pens, notepads and bumper stickers to the unusual like sex kits. My favorites are books. I know how expensive this is for the authors but to me, sometimes it is worth the expense. I am not talking about giving everyone a book. That is just crazy. I am talking about having a system of giving them away. I have ideas on this and I am sure the author to whom I beta will love hearing about it. Anyway, to me, getting a book from an author is priceless. That means they want me to read their book and they care enough to actually give it to me (or I like to think they do). The best part is they are right there to get it autographed and yep, I collect autographs. Another popular but expensive thing is t-shirts. I love them. Here is the only thing that is an issue for me. If you put your book cover on it, sometimes I feel like a walking billboard—you know the ones you see in big cities advertising sandwiches. I prefer a witty saying or if there are specific settings that are important to the books then advertise that. I don’t mind having the author’s website on the shirt either.

Now on to bad swag. I hate having to write this part, but I think that it needs to be said. I see a lot of paper being used. No one keeps paper things. Most get tore up just in the packing for home—if it even makes it that far. Most get left behind in the hotel rooms. If you autograph it, it might have a chance of surviving. I know it is a cheaper way to advertise but does it matter if it doesn’t make it home with the reader? Same thing with business cards. Unless you own a bookstore, why give them out? Maybe a first time reader will want one to remember your name, but an autograph and a conversation can do the same thing. Another popular thing is bookmarks. We all know my feelings on books but with ereaders, not many people have need for a bookmark.

I know this is a learning process for most authors. Most do not have a background in marketing and a lot of publishers are not great in communicating with their authors in what they should use as swag. One way for authors to find good marketing items is go and check out a website. Look around to see what is available. It might spark something in your head that will pertain to your books. Another is post the question on your website, Facebook, or your blog. Ask the people to whom you are trying to make contact. I know that opens the door to complete and utter crazy talk but sometimes, you can find a great idea in chaos. 

Monday, 1 April 2013

Perfect Partners

I attended an RWA conference this last week. I taught a class about conflict with my writing partner, Shayla Black. I was surprised that at the end of the session what most people wanted to talk about wasn’t emotional conflict – it was collaboration.
Though seriously – there’s some emotional conflict in that topic.

So I thought I would talk a little about the beauty and pit falls of collaboration.

First off, if you choose to collaborate, pick your partner wisely. You will be married to this person for the rest of your life. There is no divorce in the self-published writer marriage. You get a joint bank account and start an LLC. Your names are tied together. You have to trust this person.

For Shayla and myself, we dove tail nicely. We were friends for about a year and a half before we got the brilliant notion to write Their Virgin Captive. It happened—as most good things happen—over a pitcher of margaritas. We quickly learned that while we value the same general things when it comes to a story, we also had some differences. I love to have a clever external plot and she pushed me to find more conflict to push the story along.

We plotted out that first book and decided that this would be a fun way to test out the self pub waters because we couldn’t think of a single New York house that would be insane enough to buy a book about a virgin, three brothers, a stalker and moose all set in Alaska. We were pretty sure readers wouldn’t buy it, either, but the story was in our collective brains and wanted out.

So we tried several methods. The collective writing thing didn’t work for us. Nor did writing every other chapter. Though we have similar values, our styles can be very different and that first draft would have ended up creating a new bi-polar model for novel writing. We finally realized that my strength was speed so I bang out the first draft and Shayla massages it with her well manicured editing fingers.

What I’ve also realized about writing partnerships is that there’s always the calm, patient one and then there’s the crazy bitch. I was deeply disturbed to realize I was the cra cra one. I am the one who must be talked off the ledge. I am the one who requires copious amounts of liquor and the promise of pretty shoes to calm down during the editing process because my every single word is not precious.

It’s odd since I always thought I was totally sane. That’s the other thing a good partner can do for you. They can make you see that you are not as sane as you thought – and that’s okay because she’s the one who is always ready with the martini.

Partnership is hard. Make no mistakes about it. There is conflict. We don’t always agree. We can both be difficult. We have to put our friendship aside sometimes and deal with one another as business associates. But at the end of the day, I’m not alone. I don’t have to shoulder the whole burden.

In an industry know for its solitary nature – that might be best reason to collaborate—to share the ups and downs, to celebrate and mourn, to never be alone. And now that I’m writing the words I realize I am not just talking about a business, I’m talking about family. If you jump into the collaborative waters, a family is exactly what you could find.

Lexi Blake writes erotic romance. Her latest book, On Her Master’s Secret Service will be out in May.

And her newest collaboration with Shayla Black, Their Virgin Princess is out now.