A Romantic Times Conversation with Mia and Shmuttmeister

So here I am again but this time, I am joined by my partner in crime Mia Ashlinn. See here we are in Kansas City at RT.

Anyway, we are going to try and Skype and write this blog about our Romantic Times adventure.  So strap in and get ready to experience our random conversations.  None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent because let’s face it, with the Pervs, there are no innocents—except me.


Tina: “My last blog ended with us going to bed.”
Mia: “Yeah, that sounds wrong.”
Tina: “After hours of cuddling…we were cuddling with pillows. We finally settled down to sleep.”
Mia: “Crap, I misspelled my own name.”
Tina: (giggles)
Tina: “I woke up and you were sitting in the chair looking at me. By the way, which kind of creeped me out a little bit. It’s a little strange to wake up and you’re sitting in the chair looking at me.”
Mia: (snickers) “I couldn’t sleep for all your snoring.”
Tina: (cackles) “You know what, everyone knows I snore. I think next time I’m going to try those nose things.”
Mia:  “Huh?”
Tina: “My sister says they’re called Breathe Right Strips.”
Mia: “You know what, I have those. I should remember the name.”
Tina: “You don’t snore. You snorkel.”
Mia:  (laughing her ass off) “What the fuck is ‘snorkling’? I’ve never heard of that before.”
Tina: “Snorkling is like where you’re holding onto a pillow—or a person—and you are burrowing in and trying to breathe at the same time.”
Mia: “You made that up.”
Tina: “I probably did. There’s snorkeling with diving. But I use it for snorkling.”
Mia: “It keeps telling me I’m misspelling ‘snorkling.’ Stupid spellcheck.”
Tina: “Probably because it’s not a word.”
Mia: “Okay. Now we have to get back to the actual topic, Tina. (mumbles) Some people are so easily distracted.”
Tina: “In the morning, we sat there for hours shooting the shit.
Mia: “We did. We did that a lot.”
Tina: “Then we realized we needed to get our shit together and get dressed.”
Mia: “Mmhmm.”
Tina: “Then Lori texted that she was on her way.”
Mia: “So we did what I like to do best—eat.”
Tina: “Yeah, we went down to…what was the name of that place? I think it was The Terrace.”
Mia: “Where you got a shitload of bacon.”
Tina: “Well, yeah. I like bacon. I’m a bacon whore. And you got one teeny, little sausage. Yeah, you can only handle one.” (snickers)
Mia: “It doesn’t matter if it’s only one as long as it’s good.”
Tina: “It was puny!”
Mia: “But it was yummy.”
Tina: “I tried the sausage. It was okay, but it wasn’t good enough for me to give up the bacon.”
Mia: “Is anything good enough for you to give up the bacon?”
Tina: “Really? Really? We can’t go there.” (chuckles) “As we were finishing up, Caridad Pineiro walked by the table.”
Mia: “She stopped and said Hi.”
Tina: “Yeah, we chatted a little bit. She was really nice”
Mia: “Yes, she was.”
Tina: “And she had someone else with her, but we didn’t recognize her.”
Mia: (giggles) “I didn’t recognize Caridad, and I was too afraid to look at the badge on her belly.”
Tina: “That’s right. You were.”
Mia: “I didn’t recognize half of the people and still, I wouldn’t look at their badges.”
Tina: (laughs) “Then my phone vibrated—“
Mia:  “I bet that felt good. It was in your pants, right?”
Tina: “It was on the table.”
Mia: “Oh yeah. That sucks.”
Tina: “I grabbed the phone and texted Lori where we were at. She said she was walking in the lobby. I waved and told her to look up…and up…and up. That’s when she saw me, waving like a maniac.”
Mia: “You always look like a maniac.”
Tina: “Thanks. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”
Mia: “Did you throw up in your mouth a little?”
Tina: “No, that wasn’t sugary-sweet.”
Mia: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. After that was when she did it…Lori hugged me.”
Tina: (laughs)
Mia: “Not funny. I hate hugging.”
Tina: “You don’t hate it. You despise it. There’s a difference.”
Mia: “I guess. This is true.”
Tina: “What happened next? She copped a squat with her suitcase.”
Mia: (laughs sinisterly)
Tina: “You have a maniacal laugh about you today. That never bodes well for me.”
Mia: “Damn it, I can’t type.”
Tina: “That’s because you have evil plotting going on.”
Mia: (stares at the computer screen innocently) “I would never. I’m sweet and nice and…”
Tina: “Yeah, right. You have everybody fooled. I know you’re devious side.”
Mia: “In the words of Miss Piggy, Moi?”
Tina: (ignores Mia) “We sat there like another forty-five minutes or an hour, shooting the shit.”
Mia: “It was fun, but I had more fun in the room.” (snickers)
Tina: “What did we do?”
Mia: “We talked more.”
Tina: “Oh my God. We were like little Magpies, weren’t we?”
Mia: “Yeah, that’s us. Heckle and Jeckle.”
Tina: “After sitting there, we decided to stretch our legs and go find some trouble.”
Mia: “I don’t try to find trouble. It finds me.”
Tina: “Oh please. You’re such a good girl. The only way you find trouble is if we lead you to it.”
Mia: (giggles)
Tina: “It’s very true, though. Isn’t it?”
Mia: “I’m taking the fifth.”
Tina: “Chicken. Bock-bock.”
Mia: (cackles)
Tina: “You’re just amusing yourself now.”
Mia: “Yeah. Uh, we went to find trouble…”
Tina: “Trouble and swag. We found Hennessee (who had been texting with Lori ) while she was having lunch. Then we found swag and trouble in the form of Reggie and Kasi.”
Mia: “Yeah. We found them as you’re swiping swag like a dirty little thief.”
Tina: “Well it is fitting. Reggie used to be a cop.”
Mia: “He did have rope…but I don’t know about handcuffs.”
Tina: “He uses his rope to tie the bunny.”
Mia: “I’m sure he can untie then re-tie after he’s done. He is a Dom, and they are crafty.”
Tina: “There’s something so wrong with the two of us.”
Mia: “Speak for yourself.”
Tina: “I’m pretty sure I can speak for the both of us. After all, I have slept with you like six times now. I’ve probably slept with you more than the dude you bang.”
Mia: “My husband?” (closes eyes and groans) “Oh no, that left me wide open.”
Tina: “That’s what he says.”
Mia: “Oh My God!”
Tina: (cackles)
Mia: “Let’s see. Where were we? I think we saw Sophie, Chloe, and Jane Rylon after that—when we were walking to the mall.”
Tina: “We hugged and there were pleasantries exchanged.”
Mia: (groans) “More hugging.”
Tina: “You’re just so squeezable.”
Mia: “Right. Yeah.”
Tina: “You’re like that little squeezable Charmin bear.”
Mia: (giggle-snorts) “Is that a compliment or an insult?”
Tina: “It’s a compliment.”
Mia: “Sure…After that, we shopped.”
Tina: “We were looking for deodorant and a toothbrush. No place sold it so I bought my bear, and we went back to the room. We talked about changing.”
Mia: “And I was the only one who actually change. You and Lori thought I was goofy, I might add.”
Tina: “I told you to just pick one.”
Mia: “Shocking.”
Tina: “I know, right?”
Mia: “Bite me.”
Tina: “We went downstairs to meet Randi then we went to the bar for drinks.”
Mia: “We met Hennessee there.”
Tina: “Along with Marla Monroe, Sophie, Chloe, Reggie and his girls, Kasi, Randi, and Terry Terranova. We all ordered drinks and started talking. Shocking. I know.”
Mia : “There were a lot of us. I think we are missing some people. Sorry if we missed you.”
Tina: “I remember we had shitty service. We had to go get our own drinks.”
Mia: “It was busy.”
Tina: “Yeah, but it was still shitty service. They knew they had a bunch of people.”
Mia: “True.”
Tina: “Kasi whipped out the jewelry while we were there.”
Mia: “Oh yeah, I loved the shinies.”
Tina: “Of course, you do.”
Mia: “Bite. Me.”
Tina: We sat and talked—“
Mia: “Like we did a lot.”
Tina: “What did we talk about? Books, the business, and the people who weren’t with us.”
Mia: “Not in a bad way!”
Tina: “Everyone scattered for dinner, and we went to meet Tracey.”
Mia: “While were in the lobby being naughty, we got the text from Tara that she’d arrived.”
Tina: “Then we took Tara upstairs to drop off her stuff. She changed and we went back down to meet Tracey again. After that, we went for drinks courtesy of Tracey, where we met up with the Pervs we already met plus Jilly and Amy.”
Mia: “Everyone was awesome, and the food was super yummy.”
Tina: “I wouldn’t know. I didn’t eat it.”
Mia: “You know me. I’m all about the food.”
Tina: “A good time was had by all, but Tara and I were about to crash. So me, you, and Tara went back to the room to wind down.”
Mia: “We yapped for a little while longer.”
Tina: “Then we snuggled down like bugs in a rug and fell asleep.”

To catch up on Saturday’s events, come back Thursday for the second part of this conversation…


Sinfully Sarcastic,                Love & Cherries,
   
 Shmuttmeister                        Mia