Guest Blogger: Mia Ashlinn with a Perv-a-Licious Game Just For You

YOU MIGHT BE A PERVERT IF: CHRISTMAS EDITION

Every December, I put a Christmas twist on my favorite game, You Might Be a Pervert If... This year, I thought it would be highly appropriate (and slightly inappropriate) to play it out right here with my favorite pervs. Come on. It’s appropriate. Right? Or maybe, I’m just cheesy. Either way, here we go:

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you build a dungeon in your gingerbread house.

Speaking of gingerbread, you might be a Christmas pervert if…your gingerbread men are anatomically correct. (And boy oh boy, are they hung)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you practice your oral skills on a candy cane. (Remember nice and slow. Long licks. But don’t stick it in too deep. You might cut your throat with that bad boy.)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…Santa used a Sharpie to write your name in big, bold black letters at the top of the Naughty List. (Face it, honey, you’re not getting off there. Ever.)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you think Xmas should be XXXmas.

You might be a Christmas pervert if….your favorite Christmas movie is Home Alone, the porno edition. (The night before their flight to Paris for the Xmas holiday, the Swallows family and closest friends gather at the Winnetka, Illinois home of Dick and Kitty Swallows. Their eight-teen-year-old son Willie is tormented by his girlfriend, Ivana Fuckalot, about his hard-on for the next door neighbor, who is outside shoveling the snow. After a fight and a nice, long fuck, Willie goes to the third floor of the house to clean up. While in the shower, he jerks off with images of his naked next door neighbor dancing in his head. As he cums, he wishes his girlfriend would disappear. During the night, an electrical outage resets the alarm clocks and causes his family, friends, and girlfriend to oversleep. In the confusion and rush to reach their flight on time, Willie is left behind. Everyone is unaware of the mistake until Ivana is joining the mile-high club with Willie’s two brothers, Dick Jr. and Harry. Once in Paris, Ivana tries desperately to book a flight home, but finds that all the flights are booked for the next two days. Never fear. Ivana convinces the clerks to put her on standby after a romp in the nearest restroom. The rest of the family and friends go to their relative's home in Paris, where they have a jolly old time. Meanwhile, Willie is all alone and very lonely. What’s a boy to do? Get fucked by the two criminals breaking into his parent’s house.)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…your kids should be singing, “I saw Mommy Fucking Santa Claus” rather than “I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.”

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you think one of the reindeer’s names is Fucker. (Can’t you just hear Santa screaming, “On Dasher and Dancer and Fucker and Vixen. On Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen.”?)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you have exactly 69 sets of balls on your tree. (Now that’s a lot of balls.)

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you use your red velvet ribbon for a little late night bondage.

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you substitute bondage tape for Scotch tape when you wrap your presents.

You might be a Christmas pervert if…your mistletoe kiss is on your lips…the ones way down south.

You might be a Christmas pervert if…your version of a wreath is a ring that wraps around your man’s cock.

You might be a Christmas pervert if…you go to the local mall so you can sit on Santa’s lap. No need to tell him what you want for Christmas, you wicked woman.

So now, the question begging to be asked is “Are you a Christmas pervert?”

Wait. What am I thinking? I’m on the Pulpit with the Righteous Perverts' eyes on me (or on this blog, if you want to get technical). Y’all are the naughtiest, wickedest, filthiest-minded people I know. And I have no doubt your Christmas perverts. After all, y'all get your freaky on year round. No wonder I love you all.

Much love. Lots of kisses. And have a very merry, cherry Christmas!

-Mia

Guest Blogger Fiona Archer With A Contest

Thanks once again to the gals at Righteous Perverts for inviting me to guest on their blog. When it comes to perverts, nobody beats this bunch, right? Even though I’m a member of the Facebook group, the pervettes’ generosity in sharing in my special moments, such as the release of my first novel or celebrating 5-star reviews, etc., always brings a huge smile to my face.

And that leads me to the theme of my blog post: That special bond that forms between authors and their readers.

I’ll admit I’ve been lucky in the year since I was first published. The 29^th November represented twelve months since the publication of Chloe’s Double Draw. Since that time, my readers have taken me on a magic carpet ride as they’ve embraced not just my story, but me too. Let’s face it. Australia is far away from, well, just about everywhere! I can’t easily rock up to small conventions across the US and get to know readers. So each interaction a reader has with me via Facebook, Twitter, or e-mail is valued like a personal chat over coffee. It’s something to be savored.

And when you guys “like,” joke around, or giggle over something on my FB page or a comment I’ve made somewhere else, I get one of those big goofy smiles on my face. Priceless!

Some of us are shy creatures and others more outgoing. The great thing about being a reader is you get to choose the level of your “reader crush.” You can go all fan-girl and wear your love on a T-shirt, or you can be like me and silently squeal to yourself when your favorite author “likes” your comment on their post. Yes…I admit, I have my fan-girl crushes where I want to tell them how much I love their books, them, their pets, and whatever the hell else I can think of all in one breath. But, with a herculean effort, I keep that part of myself hidden. Well, most of the time.

My most recent author crushes (say in the last ten years) have all been writers who share some of my interests and/or beliefs and show that in their writing. For example, their characters have a love of animals and their welfare. Their heroines can recognize beauty in the world and deep down possess a gentleness of spirit that doesn’t affect how kickass they can be even if they are burdened with mental or physical scars. Or they write alpha heroes who know that it’s sexy when you can laugh at yourself!

I’d love to know what it is about certain authors that YOU love? What makes an author your “book buddy” apart from just being a writer whose work you enjoy reading?

Toward the end of January, High-Stakes Loving, book 2 in my King’s Bluff, Wyoming series, will be released by Siren. It’s been a long time coming. I know I pushed the patience levels of some readers to the breaking point with the time it took to get this baby written, but I’m hoping all that goodwill shall be rewarded with this story.

As a fun way to say “thanks” to you all for having me here, I’m giving away a Chloe’s Double Draw key ring. It’s gorgeous with three charms and colored-glass beads. Here’s a pic for you to see! 

For a chance to win, comment below on what it is that makes an author your “book buddy.” The winner will be chosen using Random.org.

 Facebook Fan Page

Amazon Author Page

Fiona Archer Website

To Sign up for Fiona's Newsletter

The Two Q's

This blog has been percolating in my mind for a while and I am just now getting to write it. I have argued with myself for a long while about it. I want to write it but then I think about it and then I don’t because it will pertain to some of my favorite authors. I finally stopped arguing with myself and decided to sit my big old butt down and put it in a word document. So here it goes…

I love authors well most of the time I do. Here is my issue with some of them. I started reading a couple of authors and fell in love with their books and wanted more right after I finished one. They manage to put secondary characters in them that I wanted to know more about and I felt they needed their own stories and happily ever after.  I never bothered the authors but I know I am probably the exception to the rule. I get that authors are always trying to please their readers and I understand that, I mean who wants to hear from unhappy readers. Anyway, I think some of the authors fell into a trap with trying to please everyone.  They started to write shorter stories for some of the characters. It started out harmless enough. Some of the characters didn’t need full books to find their happily ever after’s.

I then began to notice  that a few figured out that they could make a few of their readers happier by giving them books every few weeks instead of making them wait a few months. Herein lies my problem. Some characters need full length books. There have been several books that I have bought lately that I keep thinking that the characters fell into bed so fast that there was no way they had any kind of emotional attachment to each other.  Now a good author can make you feel that they do and yes I have read some that it did happen that way but I have found more that don’t. This disappoints me because I love some of these authors. I want to love their books but I will stop buying and reading their short books because they are not satisfying to me. I feel that I am being cheated and that the quality is not present in some of these books. I know that sounds harsh and it is but it is the truth from where I sit as a reader. 

A few of these authors were automatic buys for me but not any longer because their books have become so bland that I can’t remember who the characters are within a few hours of reading the book. I might be able to give you the story but not the characters names. One time of this happening I can forgive but when it is every book I just end up frustrated and irritated with the author.  Now I won’t buy their books and that makes me sad because they have a unique voice and I used to want more of it.

This part is harder for me because I do love these authors but they have a few series that I totally love the concept and I want to love the books but they are too short. These characters are so interesting and it feels like the authors are trying to cram them into a short book to make a few of their readers happy.  This is a tragedy to me because I would wait for these books. I love these characters and the storylines would lend themselves to longer books but they are made into short books.  I could not tell you how many of these books I have purchased and when I finished I was disappointed by not just the book but the author.  I now hesitate to buy these series because I know what I am going to get when I read them and that is disenchanted by both the book and the author.

Now I am going to be the devil’s advocate. I hope this is not true but it does go through my mind occasionally.  Some of these author who write shorter books make them .99 so their loyal readers buy the books they make the best sellers lists because lots of people do not mind spending a dollar on a book and if they don’t like the book it is no big deal because it was only a buck.  Now I am not saying all of the authors are doing that or anything but the thought does cross my mind.

 I also have seen some of the short books that are put out by publishers being sold for $2.99 or even more and that just pisses me off. Yes, I do know that the authors have no control over how much a publisher lists the books for but damn that is expensive for a book that will probably leave me unsatisfied and is only 50 to 75 pages.

I guess I am ready to get off my soapbox and ask the question. How do you feel about short books?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

 Shmuttmeister             

Yes, You Too Can Be An Author

                                                                     

Yes, Luna and I are back to spew our mad rantings. You might want to run now and that’s okay we won’t hold it against you.  Well, maybe I will but Luna won’t she is the nice one. Especially, tonight since she has tea and swiss rolls to keep her happy. I however have a cold so I will be the hateful one.

On to the topic at hand, authors. Authors used to be someone who sat at a desk scribbling their thoughts on to the page but now they are the ones sitting behind a computer screen pulling their hair out. Or maybe that is just the ones we know. Writing used to be a very solitary profession but with the computer it has made authors more accessible. Now the problem with that is that people now get to know the authors. For most this is a good thing but the downside is that people now realize that authors are just like them or so they think. This has put the idea in some people’s heads that since authors are just like them then they too can become a writer. This is where it gets scary.

If you ever talk to authors they will tell you that they have characters talking to them all the time. These are people that live in their heads (why I don’t know). Most people who have imaginary friends that talk to them are put in the wonderful jackets that help you hug yourself. They are then given some really nice drugs too. Where authors let their imaginary friends run rampant on the page so they can share their antics with the rest of the world. This is one of the ways you can tell the difference between an author and a trying to be.

We will separate the authors from the scribblers. Authors plot and plan their tales and adventures and make them into a coherent story.  Most agonize over every word and detail of each sentence. They want this to be the story that their characters deserve and their readers want.  After they finish their books they send it off to a publisher who will give it to an editor. Editors oh how authors love them. They read the story and make suggestions. They are there to help the author tell a better story. They then send the manuscript back. The author will then read over it and work on it some more. Some will then send it to beta’s others just send it back to the editor. Each step in this process helps the author make a better book for their readers. This is very important. This is one way to tell the difference between and an author and a scribbler.

Now after a while these authors are able to do most of these steps on their own. Some decide that for whatever reasons want strike out on their own and step into the world of self-publishing. Some keep beta readers to help catch some of the errors that are going to be made no matter what. For some this is a very freeing experience for others they find that they are not ready to do all this work on their own. Now you say where do the authors go for self-publishing. There are a variety of places, Amazon and places like Smashwords not to mention many others. For some this is the perfect way to get their work out there to the masses without publishers who sometimes delay books or just don’t want to publish them. Some succeed others do not.

Anyone can call themselves an author and publish what they’ve written on these sites that let you post your wares for sale. Does that honestly make you an “Author” or just a trying-to-be wannabe author? Yes people can buy your stories, whether they be short, long or mega sized, but what exactly is the criteria for the title of “Author” when all these site let every Tom, Jane and Mary go about like this? Sometimes the self-publishing can be a good thing. It can help the amateur author who has some rough talent get the platform they need to get their work noticed by the right people. Or it could give false  hope to those who are desperate to be a writer but simply don’t have the talent for it.  We have seen some downright dreadful dreck published. It’s like the unconditional love syndrome when your family tells you that you sing very well, but they just say it to be kind. Just because your friends like what you’ve written does not mean it will be the next great Novel that will be made into a movie franchise.

So what are your thoughts on self-publishing? Do you like it or do you want to hunt down some of the wannabes and beat them with a dictionary/thesaurus?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister & Luna

Confessions Of A Convention Virgin - Michelle Walsh

2013 was my year.  The year I lost my convention virginity. Before then, I didn’t know even know that these conventions existed for readers and writers.  I’ve always been a voracious reader but in the closet.  I’ve always idolized authors but from afar.  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine there were groups of people like me that got together just to talk about reading and writing, and mingling with their literary heroes.  In 2013, I went to my first two reader/writer conventions, and I was quickly hooked.

Once I found out about the Romantic Times Convention and RomCon, I did a lot of research about them.  What to wear; what to do; what to expect.  I inhaled and memorized every do and don’t I read.  I asked question after question of convention veterans.  I learned that I needed to hydrate often.  I knew that I needed to wear comfortable clothing and shoes, but, since I was going as an author AND a reader, I needed to make sure my clothing was professional looking as well.  Just in case I met the publisher or agent that took one a look at me and decided I was the writer they’d’ been waiting their whole life for.

Alas, that didn’t happen.

But that didn’t diminish my experience at either convention.  And I learned a lot of things that not all my previous studies and research had prepared me for.  For instance, I hadn’t planned on power-walking several miles a day to make it to meet-and-greets and seminars.  I also hadn’t planned on missing several meals because I had packed my schedule so full there just wasn’t time to eat.  Who needed food when I got to learn from Yasmine Galenorn and Jeanine Frost, for goodness sakes?  In fact, going to conventions turned out to be a great diet plan, and I lost 10 pounds at the end of them both!

I learned a few other things from my virginal convention tours:

 VOLUNTEERS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.  If you have extra time at conventions, volunteer.  They always need more people to help, from stuffing bags to setting up rooms for meetings.  Find one of the people in charge and ask them to put you to work.  Not only is it rewarding work, but you‘ll meet some great new friends.  If I hadn’t stuffed bags at RT, I would have never met Kasi Alexander.  Kasi and her family have turned into great friends of mine, and if I had stayed in my room instead of volunteering, I would have never met her.

ENJOY A PUBLIC ORGASM OR TWO.  One of the great things about conventions is that there is always something fun to do.  I had the opportunity to assist with several parties at RomCon.  The Very Virginal Bachelorette Party, hosted by Lexi Blake and Shayla Black, was a girl’s only party with the requisite naughty games… Naughty Pictionary, Cock Ring Toss, and of course, The Orgasm game.  I was the lucky judge of The Orgasm game, and handed out prizes for the best orgasm of the night.  Nowhere but a reader/writer convention would it be appropriate to move about the room asking for orgasms!

Conventions have all kinds of great parties and fun activities for readers and writers to mingle with each other.  It doesn’t matter if what genre is your favorite, there’s something for everyone.  And I mean everyone!

BE YOURSELF – OR NOT.  The RT convention held several parties, both during the day and at night, which boasted all kinds of costumes.  If you weren’t into dressing up in Steam Punk, then you could dress up in a ball gown from Gone with the Wind.  Or perhaps you’re more into vampires.  Don’t worry – there’s an event for that too.  Dress up was encouraged, and the costumes were plentiful.  Some beautiful, some odd, and some outrageous.  It made me wonder how they got them on planes, and how many pieces of luggage were needed to carry them!  One thing was clear, however, and that was that costumed or not, everyone enjoyed the dress up.

TOUCH, STROKE, FONDLE – IT’S ALL OKAY.  When I first signed up for the conventions, I knew there would be cover models there.  What I didn’t realize was how many skin bearing hunks there would be.  And I assumed that they would all be unapproachable – no talk-y, no touch-y, just look-y.  I found out that my assumption was VERY wrong.  Not only were the models extremley approachable, but they didn’t have a problem with being hugged or kissed.  They even seemed okay with the occasional stroke across their smooth, muscled chests down to their washboard abs, covered in tanned skin that looked so lickable…oh, um, sorry.  I got a little distracted!

Besides being very patient with the fans, they were also very friendly and loved to talk to everyone.  I learned quite a bit that I didn’t know about the cover model business, and made some great new friends to boot.  Not only that, when I see a book cover featuring one of these great guys I get to point to it and tell my friends “I know him!”  Sure makes them envious!

OPEN UP.  This was by far the hardest thing for me to do.  I’m not an introvert, but I’m not someone that can just strike up a conversation with a total stranger either.  However, I swallowed my fear and approached people I’d never met.  I made great new friends and found this awesome group of people that shared the same sense of pervertedness I have.  (Can you guess what group of PERVS I mean?)

I also had SEVERAL fan girl moments, and because I opened up, I got to talk to and party with some my greatest heroes.  In fact I almost peed myself when Jess Dee talked to me for about 20 minutes!  And when Mari Carr hugged me!  And when Jayne Rylon recognized me from Facebook!  I think Lorelei James probably thought I was stalking her at RomCon since I stopped her three times for pictures and autographs, too.

However, had I not shoved that fear way down, I would have never had those opportunities.  And boy, I’m glad I did.

Every convention is different:  different themes, different purposes, different authors.  But, in the end, they all have the same purpose:  to bring reading fans and their authors together.  I’m glad I’m no longer a convention virgin, and I’m already planning my 2014 conventions.  I’m excited to have some fun, catch up with old friends, and meet new friends.

Maybe I can even meet you!

Michelle

You can find about Michelle and her books under her pen name Emleigh Walsh at:

Emleigh Walsh
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Face Book
Twitter

Hard or Soft

                                                                 
Yep, you are dirty minded folks aren’t you because I see that glint of the gutter in your eyes. This is actually a blog about books, you sick puppies. I will start this blog by saying I know that most of the authors have no choice in what format their books are printed. Most of the time, the publisher decides what format in which books will be released. I have no idea what criteria they use to determine the format. It could be anything from word count to what is going to sell better. I really am clueless, but that is neither here nor there. This is about hardbacks, trade, and paperbacks—the joys of each one or not so joyous things of each one, depending on your point of view.

We will start with hardbacks, the books of our ancestors. Okay, not really. But I wish it were because I love leather bound books (even though I really can’t afford them). But once again, I digress. One of the reasons I love hardback books is the weight. I know I am strange like that, but I think a book is more than the words in it. It is about the adventure that it takes you on and a hardback book always makes me feel like an adventure or romance waits just inside its covers. That is my fanciful side. I, also, like hardbacks because they are more durable. I carry books around with me all the time. If you open my bag on any given day, you will probably find one or two books in it (it is also the reason I give for carrying a huge bag). The only books I will not carry with me are my autographed ones. They stay on the shelf and are only opened to look at the message or signature, to remind me of something I want to remember.

Trade paperbacks, I buy them only because I have no choice. To me, this is the publisher’s way of making more money without the expense of making them hardbacks. They are only about five dollars cheaper than a regular hardback. There are some good things about them. Usually the print is bigger and that is important as I age. Yep, I am almost ready for a nursing home. The trade paperbacks do give me the feeling of weight that I like so much.  I also like the way they look on my bookshelves. Okay, I am grasping at straws here. So I guess I should move on to regular paperbacks.

Paperbacks, what can you say about them? They are easy to carry, and I normally carry several of them. The great thing about paperback books is that it made books more accessible to anyone who has to watch their book budgets. For the price I spend on a trade paperback, I can normally get two regular paperbacks. If it is a book I love and want to read multiple times, I usually buy it twice. One book can sit on my shelves and one can be read. I do carry them around so they get roughed up quite a bit.  These are the first kind of books I can remember seeing. My grandmother had a bookcase built into the wall of her house that had nothing on it but Barbara Cartland books. This is also the first kind of book I can remember buying.

I guess I should add eBooks to this list as well. I never thought I would be a fan, but I have grown to like them. Yep, it almost pains me to say it. I almost feel like I am betraying my hardback books. Yes, I talk to my books and they have feelings so shush. The best thing about an eBook is convenience. I do not have an eReader, but I am sure it is just a matter of time. I like that I can get the book within moments of it being released. Yes, impatience is my middle name. The ability to make the print bigger or smaller is a huge plus as well. Now, onto the negatives. The cost is still out of whack as far as I am concerned. The price is close sometimes to the cost of the actual book. I miss the way an actual book feels in my hands when I read it on the computer. It is like reading a newspaper without the noise and trying to fold the damn thing neatly.

I guess the important thing is that we are all still readers. No matter what format you get your books you are still invested in the stories. What are your thoughts on the different kinds of books? Do you buy actual books or are you strictly an eBook reader?

Sinfully Sarcastic,
Shmuttmeister
                         

"Real Life Romance versus Fiction in Romance: Creepy or Sexy" by Guest Blogger TJ Michaels

So, ladies and gentleman, this is something I’ve been thinking about since I put a post on Facebook a couple of weeks ago that said, “Reading a book and the leading lady is turned on by a COMPLETE STRANGER walking up to her and running his fingers down her BARE stomach WITHOUT HER CONSENT. Uh...no.”

One response I got from a guy *imagine that – cough cough* said, “Hey, if both are feeling the energy and locked eyes before he did it, I say its fair game! The consent is in the eyes.”

I immediately called bullshit, excuse the ‘not-French’. Better yet, don’t excuse it. I felt pretty strongly about it and still do.

Him: “it’s all about the atmosphere, the setting, the connection, there so much involved with a man daring to come up and just randomly touch a woman. It’s not just on a whim like some hip hop club where a good song comes on and u just grab a woman’s waist and hope to not get slapped lol.”

Me: “dude you're making a lot of assumptions here, handsome. When I say COMPLETE STRANGER, that's exactly what I mean. In this particular book the woman is afraid of this guy (he's a big biker dude that looks like a Hells Angel) because she's known him for all of ten seconds and they haven't even spoken. He gets off his bike, walks up to her and touches her [on her bare bikini-wearing stomach]. Sorry, but there is no reason for a man to touch a woman he doesn't know without asking. Ever. CONSENT. CONSENT. CONSENT.”

After that, I started talking with other writers of erotic romance who’ve felt that some of their own work is kind of skeezy because they felt the need to get the hero and heroine into bed faster. By the way, this post topic will make a reappearance on my personal blog soon because I’m ganging up on…uh, I mean teaming up with other authors to explore this topic more thoroughly.

So, what’s the point of this blog post? I’d basically like to know if there are any circumstances in some of today’s uber-hot romance novels that would actually be okay with you in real life?

We’ve ready plenty of books where the hero and heroine meet at a party and end up making out. Or where they’ve run into each other at least a couple of times and end up in a hot embrace or even sex. And considering my example above where the guy touched her bare stomach without even introducing himself, I might enjoy reading about a heroine being seduced by a bossy hot dude but some stuff is just creepy. In fact, in real life, strangers touching me is a total no-go.

Basically, if you’re a guy and you touch me intimately without my permission, I will punch you in the face and then kick you in the balls. After that I will run away screaming bloody murder so my friends will know you’re in need of punching, too. We might, maybe…well, maybe not, let your friends take your punk ass to the hospital to remove the boot marks from your forehead.

Thoughts, people?

TJ the Ball Kicker


Website: http://www.tjmichaels.com
 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/the.real.tjmichaels
 Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tj_michaels
 Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/T.-J.-Michaels/e/B002BMJ1RI

The Hottie Closet

This is one blog I am happy to write.

Let’s see, how I became the Hottie Queen. I blame Luna Wildwood. I was just a shy, innocent woman lurking (shut up and stop laughing) on Sherrilyn Kenyon’s message boards.  For those of you who've never had the chance to go there, I will describe it. On each post you made it showed your name and your comment. Underneath it gave you the option of putting a banner of some kind. I had no idea what to do with that space and one of the other members was nice enough to explain it to me. Someone began calling them undies since they showed up under your posts.  She did graphics on her computer, and she made me a really cute one. I then met others who made banners and I loved them all. I believe I had all the ladies on the bbs make me banners at one time or another. Those were some seriously talented ladies.

Luna and I bonded over all my hotties, and she loved doing the graphics. So she became my undie dealer.  I began to branch out and look for guys who kind of fit the descriptions of the characters in the books. It was tough sometimes to find the right guy for a banner with a quote from the book, but I took it to heart and found lots of sites for models. I began hoarding them and some of the other ladies would come to me for hotties. Thus, began the reputation I gained for being a hottie hunter.

I always try to get the hotties names but, sometimes, it is impossible. So many hotties, so few names. I got to the point that I would recognize some of the men by sight then I would stumble upon their names in another place, and I would jump for joy. I then would use my bestie, Google, and find even more pictures. I began folders of each model (yep, I am ocd like that) and keep them nice and organized. 

I needed to find a safe place to store my hotties, just in case—Gods forbid—my computer crashes. I was told of this site called Photobucket. I went there and set up an account then placed my hotties with loving care and proceeded to give Luna the password so she could peruse at her leisure. I think there were nights that she got lost looking at hotties. It then became a joke that I had this huge closet to store all my hotties in, if only that were true.

My photobucket now has well over 1500 pictures, I believe. Photobucket has a stupid rule about nudity (even though my albums are private), and they started deleting some of my pictures. The HORRORS of it all. I lost a lot of pictures because of this rule. So off hunting I would go looking for all my lost hotties. I decided that I would just back up all my hotties on jumpdrives so I never had to worry about losing them again.

Since I started reading erotic romance, I have branched out in my search of hotties. I have found some seriously hot sites that I frequent to search for some delicious pictures. I have moved on from just hot men to hot couples and a personal favorite of mine, hot male/male pictures. I am picky about my pictures. I don’t just like any nekkid men pictures. They all have their place but, for me, I want pictures that convey feelings and emotions. I am not saying I don’t have some just good old dick pictures, but I try and find pictures that will speak to anyone who is looking at them.

Finding pictures has become a hobby of mine and my bookmarks are out of control. Finding pictures has also lead me into the world of porn. I am now a connoisseur of good porn. Sometimes, if my besties are good, I will share some of my favorites.  I pity the techs if I ever have to take my computer in to be worked on. Those poor geeks will probably be scarred for life.

Now you know the origins of the Hottie Closet. If you are good, maybe, I will share some pictures with you. Oh, who am I kidding? I like to keep my hotties all to myself.

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

Happy Autumn and the Electric Journey - Heather Long

I love autumn, more than most seasons. It may be that I grew up in Texas and autumn is such a welcome relief from the brutal heat of summer. This autumn is particularly challenging because the weather has been so bi-polar the last couple of years and in my area, we desperately need a cold wet, winter to kill off the bugs and pollens. I can’t go through another winter of allergy attack on top of allergy attack. I just got back from Vegas, and I have lots of news to share—I just can’t share it yet.

So, speaking of autumn, this one has been wildly busy for me. It’s also seen some great stories come into their own with fantastic payoffs like Raising Kane. I was really worried about this book when I began writing the novel because it was Kid’s book. While my readers have all shown such deep affection toward Kid since the beginning of the Fevered Hearts series, I’d felt much the same way.

I also knew just how challenging his book would be to write, and how dark his journey would turn. That said, there were moments that literally had me grinning from ear-to-ear in the book as well.  I always know a great deal about my characters when I begin writing them, but other parts of their personalities reveal themselves as I go along.

Kid’s journey became more remarkable due to the potholes along his path and his very, very violent struggle against taming his gift. I knew from book one that he would have to break before he consented to taking the road he needed to be on. That said, it was never easy for me to see him torture himself or be so very tortured by his abilities.

But with the release of Raising Kane, something truly amazing happened. Every reader who reached out to me to seemed to have been electrified by Kid’s story in a different way. They were touched by his dedication to family, his gift for self-sacrifice or conversely angry with the family (Jason in particular) for slights against him.

While the journey I take when I write a book is very specific, the reader’s journey seems to be as unique to the story as it is to the reader. So as the weather turns and cools, I’m delighted at the turns in the road the stories I write are taking—and more than that, I am grateful for the readers who are along for the ride.

Happy autumn, everyone. What are you reading?

Heather 

Respect

                                                           

I am sure this is a blog that I will have to have someone edit—a lot. I am very passionate about this subject and lots of people are going to disagree with me. If they would like to write a blog and tell me about it, that would be awesome. But nine chances out of ten, you will not be able to change my mind.

Now onto the blog. This is about author behavior.

I have touched on this subject before but never really went all out on it. The reason I am writing this now is because an author that I have liked for years has done something that I think is wrong. I know that authors are regular people and they have opinions—just like anyone else. I respect that. You should be able to voice your opinions. Your author wall is probably not the best place for this to happen, especially if it is about a reader.

In the last few months, I have seen authors go after readers who have given bad reviews. I understand being pissed, but you should never, ever go after anyone who gives you a bad review. If there are inaccuracies, most definitely correct them but never make it a personal attack on the reviewer. In one case, the author actually sent her fans to attack the reviewer as well. THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN!!!! I don’t give a rat’s ass if it was the worst review ever written. To me, this is the actions of a bully. It was someone’s personal opinion. Everyone is entitled to one.

Yes, I understand that this is your livelihood and how you support your families. If you can’t take bad reviews, you have a couple of options: stop writing or don’t read the reviews. You can also ask your readers who have read the book and liked it to go and write a review, too. Take the high road and just accept that not everyone is going to love your book.

I have actually stopped reading an author for a comment she made about the genre that made her a best-selling author. Basically, she insulted me and anyone who reads romance. She said that she would never write another romance because she is better than that now. Wow, now really go ahead and tell us that we read crap and how much better your new series is compared to the one that put you in the position to write it. Now I can’t even read the original series because she ruined it for me by what she said.

This is not the only author that I have stopped reading. Though, technically, I never made it to one author. I had this author on my to-be-read pile, and I was almost to her name when I found out that she was not just slightly unhinged but off the frame completely.  She has insulted not just readers but also other authors. Apparently, the whole world is out to get her and is jealous of her looks and her talent. Does this sound like someone you would support? 

The really sad part is she is a NYT bestselling author. Hell, even her publishers have problems dealing with her. I have a friend whose cousin is a manager at a major bookstore chain. This author came to the store to do a signing, and they had so many problems with her that they refused to let her sign there again. I mean how bad do you have to be that a bookstore will refuse you when you are a bestselling author?

If I wouldn’t want you as a friend, I wouldn’t want to support you as an author—no matter how great your books are. I am not saying that authors should cater to their readers or ass kiss in any way. I just want them to respect us as readers.  Don’t act like an ass then expect us to put our hard earned money in your pockets by buying your books.

One of my biggest complaints is that some authors are putting out inferior books.  I have read a few authors who, when they started their books, were so good and original. Now it seems like they are more about quantity over quality. They are writing them so fast that they sometimes don’t seem to put all their efforts into making sure it is quality work. I don’t believe they mean to do this or that it is done in any way maliciously, but it is not to the standards of their other work. I know that everyone has off books and off days but, if I can’t distinguish between books other than the characters names, then there is probably something wrong with either me or the books.

I understand that for most authors, this is a learning experience and yes, you are going to make some mistakes along the way. Just remember, if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Be the bigger person, no matter how much it hurts. Call your best friend or burn voodoo dolls or do whatever will make you feel better but never ever insult the people who put money in your pocket. You may think we are all bat shit crazy and yep, some of us are. But we are also your fans. We are the people who will go to bat for you and still buy your books when you think they are crap. We tell our friends about how wonderful you were when we went to a signing; that you listened and were willing to answer questions about your books or characters. These are the things that will endear you to your fans. Remember, at some point, you might have thought I don’t want to write anymore but then you remembered I have someone out there who wants to read this book. We are those people. Respect us as readers and most of us will go to the ends of the earth for you.

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

A Rose By Any Other Name ......

                                          

I know the title is ambiguous. I just want to be a little mysterious today. I am feeling sassy, can you tell? Today’s blog is about names. This is one that I think Mia Ashlinn should write but, alas, I am the one writing it.

Well, lots of things are in a name. The decision what to name a character is not a simple task. Many of you know that I beta read for Mia. We have discussed what a character’s name should be several times and at great length. There are so many things to consider when passing out names. It is as painful as naming your child. The only good thing is you don’t have to worry about crazed family member whining about naming the baby after someone.

Now, she has told me that sometimes the characters come already named. Does that sound weird? Well, it does to me and that is all that matters. Anyway, in the end, I have went through baby books by the dozens. I have a list and Mia has a list and, sometimes, we have to go through even more books to find just the right name. It has to fit the character and yet not be too common. For instance, how many times have you read the name Jack, Dylan, Ryan……you get my drift? I have nothing against those names but, if you read as much as I do, then sometimes you have trouble remembering which Jack belongs to what series. Now some are such strong characters that you have no trouble—think Sophie Oak’s Jack and Sam from the Texas Siren series. Not men you are likely to forget or, maybe, that is just me.

As much as you don’t want the name to be too common, you don’t want to go to other the extreme either. If it is hard for me to figure out how to pronounce a character’s name then it takes me out of the story as well. One example of this is Sherrilyn Kenyons’s Dark Hunters. It took me forever to figure our Acheron’s name and, when I met her, I realized I was saying it wrong all along. Not a deal breaker but still a bit annoying. If they are from a foreign country, I understand and I end up giving them a nickname in my head. Which brings me to another point.

I love nicknames for characters, especially if it is name given to them by someone special. I also like it when they have pet names. I will admit I give everyone a pet name. I am horrible with remembering names so I try and give them something that I might actually remember. I like it when a guy gives the woman a name that is special. I don’t even care if it is just Baby or Sweetie. It makes me think that by giving them a nickname, they are showing that she is special to them, that they don’t want to call her by a name that most people can use.

Still with the theme of exotic names the spelling of some of the most common names sometimes makes me think the characters owner (author) doesn’t know how to spell. I like a name like Caden that is spelled the Scottish way of Caedon but if someone spells it Kadin, it freaks me out a bit. The first time I usually think it is a typo till I figure out that they are just spelling it strange.

Now before you name a character you also have to make sure that it fits not just him but also his job. Does that sound stupid? No. Good. I think that a character’s job helps define them, so you don’t want someone who is a bull rider named Archibald. Or a ball busting woman named Willow. You want the name to be as strong as the character. 

Once you have a first name, you need a last name. This may be a bit harder than picking out the first name. First, you have to make sure that it would be a name you would find in the town that your characters are living in. If it is a big city, it is much easier. But if you are writing about a small town in the middle of nowhere then it will need a backstory if it is too unique. I grew up in that kind of town. Not a lot of say Russian names to be found in the phone book. So you have to make sure it fits. Now you also have to make sure that the first name and the last name sound good together. For instance, you don’t want a Richard Peters. Yes, I do know someone named that and there were a lot of Dick Peter jokes. You also have to make sure that when you are putting the names together, you stay away from names that sound like a movie star or a porn star.

So do you have issues with character names or am I the only one??

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

What BDSM Means To Me - Lexi Blake

I started reading romance again after a long period again a couple of years back. I was a housewife and had been since after the birth of my second baby. Ten years had past and I had read some off and on, but I hadn’t been the kind of reader I’d been in college. The truth was I allowed a lot of the people around to influence my reading tastes and I almost never talked about what I liked to read. I secretly wrote three romance novels over the course of those ten years, but if you had asked me back then, I would have told you I was a playwright and then I wrote a couple of comic books and then maybe if I got to know you very very well, I would mention the romances.

Don’t take it the wrong way. I also wouldn’t have talked about the fact that I watched every episode of Farscape, Star Trek and Buffy. I was educated in a gifted and talented program. They would have accepted the sci-fi, but not the romance. So I grew up pretending that I only read the classics.

Seriously, when I read Dickens or Austen, I wonder about how much better the books would be some hard core love scenes. But I never told anyone I thought that.

Flash forward to after my third child. I was thirty seven and I needed something different. I started reading again. I read Maya Banks’ Sweet Series, and a book called Master of the Mountain by Cherise Sinclair and they talked about BDSM. Now, BDSM is about sex, right?

No. What I discovered was that BDSM was about choice. BDSM was about acceptance.

Every reader is going to find something different in a book. Anyone who has ever written a book and lovingly put it all together and presented it to the world and then made the horrible mistake of going out to Goodreads to check the progress of their baby has discovered this truth. Readers find their own truth in your book. You can put your heart into a story, but a reader doesn’t really care about what you meant to say. They care about what a book says to them. You could read these books and say Lexi, you’re crazy they mean something else. But those books gave me a glimpse of something inside me and that was the need to choose to be who I am and not who I thought I should be.

I began to research and found this whole weird world of people who just accepted themselves. I’m not saying that they’re aren’t douche bags in the lifestyle. Oh, no, they are totally there, but there are also people who I grew to love and respect and to learn from. My husband held my hand on this journey, each of finding an strength in questioning everything we knew before. In taking sex seriously for maybe the first time in what had been a fifteen year marriage. Not love. We had that down, but sex. I had to come to the conclusion that sex was important. He was really glad I figured that out by the way. Sex in a loving marriage is important and sacred and should be fun and we should laugh and try new things and I realized that my needs were important, too.

I hope I’m not giving you way too much information, but I think it’s important to explain why I write BDSM romance, why I believe so many people read them. Sure the sex scenes are hot, but at the heart of it is a woman’s journey.

Somewhere in all this research and in becoming fascinated with a lifestyle that seemed so foreign from the outset I learned a few things.  It made me think about the word discipline in a different light.

It was my father’s favorite word. Like really. He was a former drill sergeant. He loved discipline and I thought it was kind of awful.

Discipline in BDSM for most people means spanking and whips and floggers, but I saw something different. In a really great BDSM novel, the whips and chains are backdrops like a ranch is to a cowboy book. The heart of a truly great BDSM novel is real discipline and discipline is the act of getting what you want. Discipline is the act of figuring out the things you need in life and then not allowing life to dissuade you from the seeking of those goals.

A great BDSM heroine for me is a woman who learns to accept herself, her body, her sexuality, her desires not just for sex, but for life itself.

A great BDSM hero stands by that woman, giving her the support she needs as she finds herself, challenging her to be more than she thought she could be.

I don’t hesitate to tell people what I read anymore. And I watch a whole lot of Doctor Who, too. I write romance and I love my job. I’m proud of what I do in a way I wouldn’t have been at twenty. As my now friend Cherise Sinclair would say, This is who I am and I’m finally comfortable saying that.

Lexi 

You can find more about Lexi and her books at 

Lexi Blake

Lexi Blake - Amazon

Lexi Blake - Barnes and Noble

Lexi Blake - All Romance EBooks

You can follow Lexi 

Lexi - Facebook

Lexi - Twitter

Who Are You?

                                                    

You are singing that song now aren’t you? My evil plan has worked. Mwahahahahahaha! Now back to the regularly scheduled blog about pen names. You had no idea what I was going to talk about from the title did you? I hope not because I like to keep you guessing.

So moving on to the topic of pen names.

I understand the reason authors use pen names. I always feel like they should have a cape or secret powers to go with that name. I guess they do really. They do have the power to take me away to another time or place. Now there is a multitude of reasons they have pen names but the one I hear the most is that they want to keep their public life separate from their private life. They are smart to do that because there are some people who shall remain nameless (Luna) that are stalkers.  I, however, am a dedicated follower (yes, I totally stole that Luna).

Why keep their private life separate, you ask? For a variety of reasons. Let’s face it. If you read or write erotic fiction, you are somewhat thought of as perverted. I wear that badge proudly but for someone with a judgmental family, it is harder. They have to keep it a secret because of their children as well. Either so the kids won’t know because they are too young or they don’t want them to be ostracized at school.

They, also, use pen names to try out different genres. At first, I had no idea what they were talking about. But as I talked to more and more authors, I learned lots of new stuff about them. Most authors work really hard on creating a name for themselves and, if they try a new genre, sometimes it doesn’t necessarily fail but it is not the raging success that their first pen name reached. They are usually still proud of the work, but they don’t want that name to tarnish the successful one. 

Another reason I have heard is that if the genres are different then chances are the readers are as well. I have no idea what that is about because, even though I am not a huge fan of some genres, I know that if one of my favorite authors is writing a book in a different  genre then I want to at least try it. I have yet to find a book by one of my favorites that I didn’t like because of the genre. But anyway, let’s get back to the reason they use a different name for each genre. It is so that the readers are not confused by the books and can easily find the genre they want to read.

Another reason authors use multiple pen names is because they are writing for different publishers. This is probably the most popular reason. Publishers are picky about their authors. Sometimes they own an author’s pen name and, for that reason, the author cannot use that name for a different publisher.  Why do authors use different publishers? Sometimes it is because their contracts say they can only submit a certain number of books a year but the author can write more than that number. So why just submit to one publisher? I almost went off track right there when I put the word submit because all the sudden I heard a whip in the back ground. All right, I did go off the rails, but I am back on them now.  Authors need to make a living, too. If a publisher limits the number of books they can submit then that is cutting into the living of the author. I understand this is one of the biggest reasons that authors use the pen name. I don’t blame them for this one because, if an author is selling, why would you want to limit the number of books they produce? Sorry, another blog topic for another time.

The only drawback I can see for an author using a pen name is all the extra work it must create for them to do promo and whatnot for more than one name. I am sure, if they have to keep the names secret, it must also be quite the hardship because most authors are yappy or the ones I have met (and you know who you are—Mia and several others). For readers, it is a little different. Sometimes when authors use different pen names, if I don’t talk to them a lot, then I have no idea that my book collections are incomplete. I tend to collect authors and not series or genres. So I want every book they have ever written.  

So do you like pen names or do they annoy you?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

The Joy Of Early Morning

                                            

I know you think I am being sarcastic. Normally I would be. But today, I am just being my overly happy self. Okay, so I am exaggerating a lot. That is what I do so Nananana. Wow. Not even three lines in, and I am already off topic. So let me get back to the point of this blog. I forgot for a second there but now, I remember what I wanted to talk about.

Most people hate early mornings, but I love them. I have always been one of those people that only need a few hours of sleep. Hell, I was even born a month early. Momma always said I was just done percolating and decided I was ready to come out and see what early mornings were likes. So like a good baby, I arrived at 6 am. I have always woken up at that time and if I sleep later, that means I am sick. 

Some of you know that I am up every day at 2:30 am when most people have only gone to bed a few hours before. I normally go to bed between 11 and 12 and wake up about the same time my alarm goes off. It takes me around 5 minutes to wake completely up. But as soon as I have my shower, I am good for about 12 hours. I get myself ready and feed the evil kitties then I am off to work. My shift is from 4 am to 12:30 or so. When I get home, I usually talk on the phone with a certain someone who shall remain nameless. Mia. I then take a nap for about 2 or 3 hours, depending on what I did at work that day. Again, it takes me a few minutes to wake up. But then, I am on Facebook and yappin the evening away.

Now back to the topic because, once again, I wandered away. The reason I like early mornings is because everyone else is not up. Most of you know that I am anti-social on my best day. I have found that I get more done early than if I wait to do things later in the day. I also have a ton more energy. I can go non-stop for longer if I get that early start.

Another reason I like early mornings is because as a people watcher, it is just fun to see people out and about trying to wake up. I am not kidding. I have seen people walk into doors and walls. I love to see the women who are not completely awake walking in high heels. It is like watching a kid on a skateboard trying to do tricks. You know they are going to fall so you just have to stand and watch it happen. They don’t think it is as funny as I do. The guys are almost as much fun to watch. They are the ones who are walking around aimlessly trying to remember why they stopped at the store or where something is. I know they are just as clueless as a toddler trying to figure out how to open a baby gate. Kids are the best. Any parent that has to wake up their little heathens knows the joy of a badger that has been cornered. Every time I see one of these little darlings reminds me of the reason I never wanted kids. Those little suckers are dangerous. I have heard screaming like someone was dipping them in a vat of hot water when all that is happening is they are being put in a cart. Then there is the whining. OMG, THE WHINING!!! I just want to run to the pharmacy and grab the Benadryl and put them to sleep and, if that doesn’t work, there is always my friend Jack Daniels.

Working at the butt crack of dawn is sometimes better than going to the fair and watching all the freaks come out and wave their freak flag high. 

So are you a morning person or do you believe the day starts at 10 am?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

Words

These are the most powerful things in the world. Most people would say weapons were more powerful but the use of weapons usually comes after some serious words are spoken or written. Words are the way in which we communicate with each other. They show our hopes our dreams and even our evil thoughts. This brings me to the point of this blog, Wordsmiths.

 Most people just call them writers but to me it is more than just writing.  A scientist can be a writer.  A Wordsmith is someone who can bring a feeling to a subject.  These are the people who fire up our imaginations. They bring even the mundane things to life but just putting them on paper and adding their talents and thoughts on the subject.

It takes a special kind of person to put words on paper.  I never thought I would be someone who would attempt it. In my family my sister Jean is the writer. She was a very quiet girl who felt things and expressed them through words. She used to write all the time but now she has devoted more time to reading and I think she has given up the writing completely. She always said she did not have the drive it takes to be a writer. I think she should still be writing even if it is just for her. Even people who have no talent for the written word should at least put words on paper if even just for themselves. I think by writing you can ease your everyday burdens. No one ever has to see what you put just the act of putting it down will sometimes help clear your mind.

Some people think I am an ass kiss but to me wordsmiths may be some of the most important people in the world. I am talking about anyone who can communicate and bring a crowd to its feet. Think back to history class yep way back for some of us. Remember the history teacher talking about one of the most powerful documents ever published was a pamphlet called Common Sense by Thomas Paine.  It brought the cause of revolution to the everyday man and woman. Had Thomas Paine never written that document would we all have possibly still have British accents,  but then again maybe not but the world would sure be a different place today.

In modern times it still takes an amazing person to write the words to fire up a nation. Could you imagine politicians just saying what they thought,*shuddering* I gives me hives to imagine it.  There is a reason there are speech writers. Not everyone has the ability to put the words together in a way that is not just meaningful but can bring passion to a subject. Some would argue that a good orator is the one who brings the passion and to a degree it is true but you still have to have the words to communicate.

It is a travesty that there are still people in the world who are illiterate. I could not imagine what my life would be like if I never had the opportunity to learn to read.  I know my life would be a lot less enjoyable. I am always surprised when someone tells me that they don’t like to read. I don’t understand this concept. How could you not want to take a journey around the world and hell sometimes out of this world without ever leaving the security of your own home?   I work with people who haven’t read a book since high school.  When I ask them about it they tell me that it is boring and I always tell them that it is that they just haven’t found the author who ignites their imagination.  I always feel the need to take them to a bookstore and find them a book or hell even a magazine that brings passion to their day.

I mostly feel that television and movies have taken the place of books for so many.  Now I am not bashing tv hell I love it but I realize that there is more to a show than the actors and directors. Most don’t see the connection between books and their favorite shows.  Unless all they watch is reality *shudders*.  If you talked to a television writer they would tell you that they are inspired by another author. It could be anyone from Stephen King to William Shakespeare. I love to ask authors who are their favorites.  Sometimes they surprise me with their answers. To me there really are no bad authors just authors who either have not found their voice or have not found their audience.

Now who are has inspired you to read or who has made you want to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister  

Righteous Perverts Chat..... How did it all get started ?

My first book, Perfection - Eternally Three, was published in September 2009. I was thrilled, as you can imagine. It had been a lifelong dream of mine to be an author, and I’d finally reached that goal. A few months later, I was invited by Black Raven Reviews to be the author spotlight for an online text chat. I’d never done that before, but had a blast with the readers that came to it.

I had so much fun over at Black Raven that I decided to host some of my author friends in a chat room. The first chat was in December 16, 2009. I went back in my documents and found the date. Wow. Amazing it has been that long ago.

My very first guests were Shayla Black and Melissa Schroeder. More authors approached me to host them and more readers started showing up. Tina, Luna, Tara were some of the first readers to show up week after week. At first I called the Wednesday night event – Kris Cook’s Chat, but later, Sophie Oak came up with the name Righteous Perverts, and that stuck.

The list of authors that have been to RP’s chat is so long. Names that you see on the NYT, USA Today, Amazon, and other bestseller lists today and up and coming authors have been our guests. Here’s just a few off the top of my head: Lexi Blake, Shayla Black, Bella Andre, Eliza Gayle, Eden Bradley, R.G. Alexander, Sophie Oak, Chloe Lang, Cat Johnson, Annabelle Joseph, Laurann Dohner, Mari Carr, Mia Ashlinn and so many more.   

A little before my accident in April 2012, I let go of the reins completely of RP, though the reins had actually been in the hands of the readers for some time before that. As RP approaches its fourth year anniversary this December, I want to say thanks for all the amazing support you give to romance fiction and the authors who write it.

On a personal note, I was absent from the writing desk for over a year. The accident had an impact on me in many ways I hadn’t expected. After the long drought, I am back writing. I hope you will forgive me the time off. As of the writing of this blog, I am finishing up Misty’s Bondage Diary, number three in my Diary series. The next three books I will be working on is a gay shifter series that I’m so excited about.

Thanks for having me today, RPers. I love you all.

Kris

The Choice

Yep, I am one of the few people still alive and kicking (well, some days) that still buy print books. I know. I am really old fashioned. I still call cds albums, too. And yes, I do still buy cds as well. I am technology challenged, and I am not afraid to say it. If I need new entertainment technology, I go to work and hit up my boys. They really aren’t my boys. Everyone just calls them that because I haven’t killed them yet and I enjoy talking to them. I tell my boys what I want it for, and they get together and pick out what I need to buy. Then they tell me how to use it. See, I have set up a vast network of nerds and geeks for all my tech questions. That way I don’t have to learn what anything is because it is just going to change in six months. I am smart like that or dumb, depending on your point of view.  Now that you have my lack of technology down pat, I can move on with the reason for this blog.

E books vs Print books. Now that is the question. I like both. Most people only do one or the other, but I am a book whore. Yep, you now know my secret. Okay, it really isn’t a secret.

Let me start with print books. I love them. I like being able to hold them and have the weight in my hands. It makes me feel like I am really reading. I know it is stupid, but I love it. Then there is the smell. Yep, I smell my books. There is something about the ink that leaves a smell. I feel like when I open a new book and smell it, I am going on an adventure. I don’t care what kind of book it is. I am going somewhere away from my real life.

I know I am freaky, but I am sure that there are others out there that have done the same thing. One of my favorite things about print books is the covers. I totally pet them. Yep, I am sick like that. But I love being able to run my fingers across the book. I look like I am molesting them, but it is okay with me if people see me enjoying my books.

Wait. Does that make me an exhibitionist?? I guess that question will have to be answered in another blog. Damn it.  Now where was I??

Oh yeah, the petting. After I pet them, I like to sit and peruse them. I look at all the information on the author and all the copyright dates and strange things they put in the front of the book. I, also, like reading the dedications and acknowledgements. Those tell me a lot about the author. But none of that is here nor there.

I eventually decide whether I am going to buy the book or not. Normally, I buy it right then and there. Now, I buy a lot of my books from Barnes and Noble. Why, you ask. Shouldn’t I buy from a local store? I would. But there are none around here so B&N is my only option. After I pay for the book, I go and get a hot chocolate or water—depending on the season. I pick out my comfy chair or the table with the chair to the wall (yep, I am paranoid too).

What does most of this have to do with print books vs ebooks? I am getting to that, I promise. Now, as I sit there reading, I get the feeling that I am actually getting more out of the story. It is all about the atmosphere. I see others sitting reading and enjoying their books. It makes me feel like I am part of what is becoming a smaller and smaller club. You know the one I am talking about—a readers club. The one where people use their imagination instead of waiting for the tv show or movie to come out based on the book. Now, before I get smacked around on that comment, I do love to watch movies and Lord love a duck, I love television. I just think sometimes you get more from the book.

But again, that is another blog. Damn it. Now I need to move on before you get bored with this blog. Shit, I probably lost you about two sentences in to it. Oh well, I might as well give my betas some more to read—just for fun.

Now, ebooks. I am not sure what I feel for them. I do not yet own an e-reader. Yep, I heard all the gasps from everyone. I read on the computer. I understand why people like them. There is the fact that you can carry it around and not dislocate your shoulder. You have hundreds of books at your disposal. The joy of being able to read your smut without anyone knowing what you are reading and why you have that dreamy look on your face.  I get all of that. Then there is the convenience of not having to leave your house to buy a book.  Some days I love that. My personal favorite is that most of the authors I have been reading get their books out in ebook form first. I love not having to wait endlessly. I do not have patience at all. I read that a book is released, and I want it asap. That is the most important thing about ebooks to me.  As I get older, I notice that with the computer, I make the print bigger too so that is another point in favor of the ebook.

Yep, those are about the only things I can say that I like about ebooks. I guess, at heart, I am still a physical kind of woman. I like the feel of books. I like being able to carry the book and show that I am a reader. I want to be able to go to book signings and actually have the author sign a book that I can put up in my library (yep, my bookshelves do not really qualify as a library but you know what I mean). If you take me to a big house, the first thing I look for is a library. I love walking into a room and being able to see all the books. The option of pulling one book out and going on a trip around the world, snagging a different book and falling in love, yet another book will break my heart when I read about someone’s hardships. I guess I will always be a 19th century kind of woman, one who loves the atmosphere of a library.

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister

Don’t Hate Randi Alexander Because She Loves Cowboys (Sexy Excerpt and Giveaway Included!)

Thanks so much for hosting me today, Tina. I’m always amazed at how much you do, and how many people admire you for just who you are. *siffles* You’re so cool!

Okay, now that I’ve buttered her up—figuratively, of course—I can talk about my favorite subject: Cowboys. I’m proud to say I write cowboy erotic romance. While I’ve received mostly positive feedback on that sub-sub-genre, some people curl their lip. “Like, farmers? And country music?” I bite my tongue then smile. “Yep, just like that.”

One would think the American institution of the hard-working cowboy would be sacrosanct. Doesn’t everyone love cowboys? I guess not. I have followers from all over the world who wish they lived closer to this continent so they could actually see a real cowboy. When I win the lottery, I’m going to bring 100 people to the USA, we’re going to charter a jet and fly around the US and Canada just to see all the different types of cowboys. Who’d like to come along?

Cowboys are that perfect mix of alpha-male and soft-hearted lover. They appreciate a good horse, a rare steak, and a sexually adventurous woman. They’ll pull over in a rainstorm to pick up a stray dog, but will take a swing at anyone who really deserves it. Many cowboys are shy from the long hours alone watching cattle wander the range, but if you catch up with a rodeo bronc rider at the bar after they’ve won a buckle, you’ll never get a word in.

Some cowboys are even musically inclined. In my latest release, Chase and Seduction (Book 1 of the Hot Country series) Chase is a real cowboy besides being a country western star. He’s rough-ridin’, horny, and hard lovin’, but he knows how to seduce a woman until she’s hot and ready for anything. (Lucky Reno!) Enjoy the excerpt, and check out the giveaway I’m offering below.

Book Excerpt  of Chase and Seduction: Backing up to the bed, Chase pulled her with him and sat, her breasts at his eye level. “Beautiful, Reno. You’re beautiful all over.” He licked a circle around her areola then took her into his mouth, holding the nipple in his teeth while teasing it with his tongue.

She grabbed his shoulders to keep upright as pulses of sensual delight traveled from her breast, through her belly, and down low to her core. “Oh yes, that feels wonderful.” Watching his lips on her, feeling his soft hair brushing her skin was nearly sinful, and totally heart wrenching. How could she be so attached to this man so quickly?

He used his fingers to arouse the other nipple, and the two contrasting motions played a crazy game of sensual tag. Her cunt contracted, and her pussy lips moistened.

Chase drew a deep breath. “Baby, I can smell your scent.” He kissed the deep valley between her breasts. “You want me now, don’t you?” He looked up at her, licking the swell of each breast.

“I want you now and all night, Chase.”

“Show me. Get naked.”

She stepped back and pulled her panties down, bending forward to show him another angle of her breasts, and she could almost see him salivating. When she grasped her shoe, he growled. “Uh uh. Those stay on.”

“Mmm. Kinky.” She peeled off her panties and fired them slingshot-style at his chest.

He caught them and brought them to his face, breathing in deeply. “Mine.”

A delightful shiver coursed through her. “My panties?” She sounded breathless.

“Your pussy.” With blurring speed, he stood, snatched her up, and had her laying on the bed, with him on all fours over her.

“I’m dizzy,” she teased.

“You’re gonna be a hell of a lot dizzier in a few minutes, beautiful.” He suckled her nipples languidly, each tug of his mouth echoing in her pussy with hot bursts of lust that swelled her lips. He sucked at one breast then the other, back and forth, a clever foreplay of his hot mouth on her, then a moist, cooling sensation as he moved to the other. After a minute, her hips responded to each long pull, thrusting upward, wanting more.

Chase nibbled a leisurely path down her stomach to her belly button. His tongue in her ticklish spot caused ripples of desire to shoot directly to her core.

He kissed lower, easing down her belly, driving her crazy with impatience, but wild with anticipation. He reached her mound. “Open for me, baby. I want to see every inch of you.”

* * * * * *

Head to my website to read the entire first chapter.  

Leave a comment for your chance to win an E-copy of Cowboy Bad Boys plus a trading card and some fun swag.

* * * * * *

Thank you!