This blog is really about death. Everyone will experience death. Not only their own but those of loved ones. We all deal with the loss of someone differently. There will always be sadness when you think of them. Even time will not erase that feeling but each day you it will hurt a little less till you only remember the good times and you forget the bad. And with grief comes guilt. I am not sure why this is but no matter how much time you spend with them when someone dies you always think to yourself that I should have been around more or I should have told them that I loved them. Things like that will always haunt you but you have to get over it. Most people let death send them into a depression and the land of what if’s. This to me maybe the worst thing about dealing with deaths of people you love. Sometimes you just have to believe that you may have not spent enough time with them but they knew you loved them even if you didn't tell them everyday.
As a kid I spent a lot of time dealing with death. I was born when my mother was forty so all of our relatives were older than dirt to a kid. As a result I was being dragged to funerals as far back as I can remember. Now my family was Catholic so there was a lot of planning and praying at least at church. When we ended up at home though it was a totally different story.
I can remember sitting around and listening to the adults gossiping about whomever had died. I know that most people would call it disrespectful but they were dead so I am guessing they didn't mind. I can still see my Grandmother and all the old biddies sitting around the kitchen table just telling stories of everyone. Let me tell you these women didn't hold anything back. They reminisced about the good times and the bad. I heard things that a child should never know about their family or anyone else for that matter.
Sitting around and listening to these women talked taught me a valuable lesson. People may seem good and decent but in the end we all have our vices. Others seem like terrible people but they had good qualities as well. I learned that there are so many varying degrees of good and bad that you just have to accept that people are not perfect and sometimes they will find the wrong road and take it.
I know a lot of people find my family’s way of dealing with death as strange because we don’t sit around crying and wailing but that is just not our way. We always want to remember the ones who passed away but we do it in the most honest way possible. We all get together and do exactly what my Grandmother and her friends taught us. We sit down and talk about whoever died. We talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. We never put the person on a pedestal and we know that in the end we cannot judge because when we die our family will still be doing the same thing except we will be the one being talked about.