Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Guest Blogger Loin Licker

BDSM How far is too far?

One of my first introductions to BDSM was through Kim Dare’s Pack Discipline Series.  I saw the blurb on book 1 and thought why not?  I am glad that I did because it was an eye-opening and wonderful experience.  Since then I have read many BDSM books both paranormal and contemporary, although I may lean towards paranormal.  Hey, if I am going to live on the wild side why not go all the way?  I like the kinkier side of a book, that naughty piece that your friends would be shocked to know that you are reading. My friends have no idea that I enjoy BDSM, ménage, M/M, etc. They would probably be shocked! It’s a long way from the Catholic school girl, right?

I read a book a few months ago, BDSM advertised, that I did not finish. I won’t mention the book title nor do I know how it ended, but it was an example of how far is too far, at least in my eyes. The young submissive was urinated and defecated on by multiple men. Then he was caned and meant to crawl on all fours. In my opinion, this was too far. My definition of BDSM is a complete trust in your partner that goes both ways. It is not meant to humiliate nor subjugate either party.  It should be a mutual release and a complete satisfaction for both parties. It is the dominants job and duty to take care of the submissive; to see to that person’s every need and sexual satisfaction. Safe words are used for a reason, when someone is uncomfortable with the situation then all play should stop and things should be reevaluated for the benefit of both parties. I have a hard time reading a book if the BDSM advertised humiliates someone and makes him or her feel less than human.  Bondage, spanking, flogging are all acceptable, among other things.

I’m also not into the whole “Master” thing. I don’t know, maybe there is a place for it but not in my world.  I don’t mind reading it and I can see where the characters get off on it, but I can’t begin to imaging me calling anyone “Master”. It’s not that I don’t trust, but as an independent woman I would rather turn over the reins in other ways. I can be blind-folded, spanked, brought to the brink and then back again, but for some reason, “Master” just gets my goat up.

I think that BDSM is a beautiful thing and can be completely sensual and releasing for all involved.  I love how the authors of my favorite books start out by molding the characters with their kinks and then allowing for the build-up. I love Sean Michael’s books because I believe the theme of BDSM is always tastefully done with a heavy dose of eroticism. My favorite series is the Hammer Series, where BDSM runs rampant.  He writes the books so well that I think that I am right there with the Dom & Sub.  I have never read a book in the series where I felt that it was taken to far.

I suppose that BDSM-themed books are not for everyone, but I think that you should try it before you judge. Start out small.  There are plenty of books out there in every genre that can ease you into the theme. Go for it!

Happily Lapping Around,

Loin Licker


  1. I completely agree LL (cause Loin Licker was cracking me up so much!) I would not just put down a book that had the bodily functions, I'd probably throw it across the room (unless it was in my Kindle).

  2. great blog though now I have a new author to look up this could be dangerous for me. I too have alot of people that dont know or cant understand why I read this genre of books. And yuck dont blame ya for putting that book down and hopefully being able to use your mental delete key too. Bravo. Loin Licker is an original name too lol.

  3. Certain kinks are a flat out NO for me. I don't want to read about them if they gross me out or cross the line into what I find personally repulsive. I don't want to be uncomfortable when reading, it's not enjoyable if I'm sickened by the content of the story. I have done the same thing with some of the BDSM books where what is going on is just having a negative effect on me.

  4. Agreed. One of the reasons I went with Siren over another ER publisher is because they don't publish certain controversial fetishes. I believe everyone should be free to find their pleasure in their own way, but I will stop reading a book if there is any mention of scat, golden showers, kids, or incest. And for me humiliation is a huge turn off. I just wish more people would be willing to read the genre just ONCE before they bad mouthed it. Great post Loin Licker! LOL

  5. Loin Licker, as a fellow Licker, I also enjoy the BDSM genre., when it reflects a true give and take between the D/s participants. I can empathize with the /sub's need to release power to someone they trust, but I am NOT into any sort of humiliation. In fact, to me, if both parties are not mutually respectful, it is just assault. I would have tossed that book out, too! I'm sure that most (if not all) of my friends and acquaintances would be shocked that I like this genre, but it really calls to a part of me. That is why I am so glad to have found all of the lovely RP's! Thank you for sharing the new author.......I will definitely check him out!

  6. I too have read some that go way to far. I like giving up control in the bedroom to my men also, but I'm way too independent for the Sir and Master thing also. Great blog!

  7. Great post, Loin Licker, and I agree that book went too far. I joined the site FetLife .com to do some research for my BDSM book, and WOW what an eye opener! It's amazing and scary to see some of the fetishes some people have.

    As far as Master/Mistress and slave/boy goes, I see it as a way to role play, but not a lifestyle. It's just like any fantasy playing in the bedroom, and can be a lot of fun. It's a great way of letting go of control and letting my cowboy have all the power for that period of time. But no, I wouldn't personally take it to the extreme of living that life every minuted of every day as some people do. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  8. Your statement about calling somebody "master" cracks me up because I am exactly the same way. I can't see myself calling somebody that in a million years and it's a huge turnoff for me to read about. Of course, I hardly read BDSM at all because I'm so soft where that is concerned. That's not to say that there aren't BDSM books out there that I've enjoyed, but for the most part, I just stay away from the genre. As for the other stuff? Effing disgusting! I don't get it. At. All.

  9. Like you, I enjoy a good BDSM book and have very similar tastes as to what I'll read and enjoy. I think for me, at the heart of it I need there to be some sort of romance at the story's core. And without a HEA, it's just not going to work for me. Different people have different tastes and needs and I'm all for finding whatever works for you personally, but yeah, for me I need romance added to the mix.
    Great topic :-)