Fear

                                                              

Am I stupid enough to tell you about my biggest fear? Duh, NO. This blog will be about something I have dreaded for over a year. I still am not sure about it but I have been assured that it will all be okay and if not then Mia Ashlinn will be getting her ass kicked. This is about blogging. I will be the first to tell you I am scared to death of this blog. Dawn Gore Meador brought this blog site up to me over a year ago. We talked about it but we wanted to make sure that we had people that would write the blogs. We had noticed a bunch of people in our group said they liked to write so we thought now is the time. I talked to the other admins and the blog was born.

We posted in the group about the blog but only a few people said they would write blogs. I asked myself, Bitch (yes that is what I call myself) why does no one want to write a blog for us. I found out when I sat down to write my first one. The overwhelming fear of the unknown. I was an okay student but writing scared the crap out of me. I now know what writers go through but on a much smaller scale. We may get five or six people to read this blog if we are lucky and count each other.

Now on the reason for the fear/freak out. I have found that when I am writing I cannot separate myself from the subject I am writing about. Mia said this is a good thing. I am going to trust her this one time and pray she is right. I decided that my first blog should be the introductory blog. I guess that makes sense or maybe that is just me talking crazy again. Now I sat down and put my fingers to the keyboard and nothing. I mean nothing wanted to come out. The fear was holding me back so I decided I would just randomly put some thoughts down and then try and make it work. Then like lighting striking as I started to type my thoughts actually started to make it into sentences. Once I got started it went fast.

The next thing was actually sending it to someone else to read. This is where the fear really kicked in. I was scared to death, I mean damn someone else was going to read what I put down and be able to judge me for my thoughts. On my best day I am a confused mess and this was probably not my best day. I sucked it up and sent it off to Mia and Luna by personal beta’s. I think one of the first things Luna said to me was that comma’s were my friends and I should use them. I then had to explain to her that punctuation was my nemesis and that I will probably never catch on to it.  Hell the only reason anything was spelled correctly was because spell check is my bestie. I know the word is spelled wrong but I am at a loss to fix it or maybe I should say it would take me forever to fix it because I am one of those people that write it out till I get the spelling correct. I could just look it up but why do things the easy way.

Now on to the really scary part which was content and making sense. I am still not sure if I make sense in my blogs, goodness knows I have blog ADD. I am all over the place and many times I have had to take notes because as I am writing I think of other blogs to write. This is the part where Luna and Mia come in. They both read it and help me make it better. No they don’t rewrite it they just help me fine tune it and make sure that I am clear in my crazy talk. Do I think my blogs are any good? No, but Luna and Mia tell me they are just like when we talk on skype or on the phone so I guess that is a good thing. Actually, I am not sure because neither of them have said they are good just that they are most definitely my thoughts.

Now I have to wait and see what you all think about my blogs. My question to you is would you suck it up and write one or are you more of a reader and commenter?

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister