NO !!!!

This is one of my favorite words. I know most people hate the word. No, not me. I am one of those people that see the glass as half empty. I also kick dogs and hiss at kids. I am just kidding about the dog part.

You might ask me why I like the word no. It is because it allows you to have power over your life. If you are one of those people who say yes then others are more than willing to take advantage of your good nature. If you are a no person then people don’t want to ask you for money or to do things they have need to do themselves. I used to follow all the rules and say yes to almost anything because I was a pleaser, but inside I was an “if I could get away with it, I would smack you around” kind of girl. I didn’t learn till later that being a pleaser would never make me more acceptable to people.

I always wanted to try and fit in. But I never did, no matter how hard I tried. Inside, I have never been a half full kind of girl. I find that I am rarely disappointed when things happen and if plans are changed then I am more able to deal with it. Don’t get me wrong. I will still have a hissy when plans are changed but after a few minutes, I am back to being my normal bitchy self. I know. Me? Bitchy? NEVER. I hide it well, don’t I?

I am, also, one of those strange people who also enjoys getting up when most people are just going to bed. You know, 2 am. I find that if I am up before most people are going to bed, I have time to myself to do shopping and, if I wasn’t so lazy, go to the gym. Okay, I would have to have a gym membership too. But that is not the point. If I did belong to a gym, I would probably drive a trainer crazy because, again, I would use my favorite word all day long. I would also probably tell them to fuck off too. Let’s face it. I am one of those people who lives to piss others  off. I know that all the trainers out there say “No, I am willing to push you and you will not piss me off.  I am stonger than you mentally.” I know better. I grew up with so many siblings and their friends that I can take whatever they dish out and give it right back to them with an evil grin. I may not be able to breathe when I do it. But damn it, I will do it anyway. 

  

Now I work in retail—some of you know it as Hell—or, at least during Holiday time, you do. This is my favorite time of year. I love the holidays in retail. It is like a trip to the asylum. Crazy people running around acting like five year olds when they can’t get what they want.  And the big bonus is I get to use my favorite word. All day long I get to tell them that “No we don’t have that”, “I know it was in the ad but today is Friday and we sold out of it on Tuesday” and my personal favorite “No, I will not call you and let you know when it comes in”.  Please tell me you are not one of those people who do that because I may have to climb through the internet and strangle you. I don’t mind people who call and ask if something has come in. Hell, I encourage that kind of behavior. But really, I am not your personal shopper. I don’t have time to run all over the store checking to see if we carry something just for you. The best one is when you are working in toys and someone comes in and says something like “Yeah my daughter wants some doll” Yep, that is the description I get a lot of times. Wow. Way to narrow it down for me. Or there is the person who comes in with an ad from another store and says “But it says you have it one sale right now”.  Are you getting the picture of why I like the word no now? I get to use it over and over and over again. All day long. It is guaranteed to piss people off and that just makes me happy.

If you ever want a life changing event, get a part time job in retail. It will change your whole outlook on people. You will be inspired by the sweet old couple who comes in every week and still holds hands while shopping. Then you will see a woman who has 6 kids trying to get everything in the cart that needs to be there and nothing that doesn’t. She will also be the woman who’s children are the best behaved. You will see some of the best in men as well because we have lots of Dads that come in carrying a baby and pushing another in the cart while Mom is  taking a day to enjoy herself. Working in retail is seeing the best in people and the worst. And BINGO BABY you will get to use my favorite word a lot. NO!!!!

Sinfully Sarcastic,

Shmuttmeister